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Post by layze on Nov 27, 2007 20:33:25 GMT -5
*Cut to the Robbos' HQ in Rogueport* Ishnail:*Reading through a resume for the craw in front of him*Hm...well, Mr....Duck, was it? Duck: Y- Ishnail: Your resume is impressive. Do you, by chance, have any relations in the Robbos? Duck: Well, my twin brother runs the trouble center. Ishnail: Your twin brother. Duck: Yeah. Ishnail: So your parents named you Duck and Goose. Duck: Yep. Ishnail:...K. Anyway, you're hired. Because of your special skills, which include throwing junk and running away like crazy, I'm making you our new demolitions expert. The old one just died. Duck: Did he cross the wrong wires? Ishnail: Nah, his wife killed him when she found out he was cheating on her. Anyway, here ya go.*Hands him a bag* GET!!! YOU GOT A BOMB BAG! Ishnail: What in the name of Satan was that?! Duck: Is this place haunted?! Ishnail:*Shivers*Er...of course not! Here's your first assignment. There are some ancient ruins in the desert known as the Dry Dry Ruins. See, this place contains some rather incriminating evidence. Rather than just take 10 seconds to remove it, I want you to blow the place to Hell. Duck: K. *Fast-forward. Duck is setting up the bomb(rofl)in the room where Tutankoopa used to be* Duck: 5 minutes outta be enough time to get out of this place.*Sets the bomb and begins running* *As Duck nears the exit, he hears a weird barking noise* Duck:...Zuh?*Looks through the door the noise came from and sees a stone chomp trapped in a bear trap*I...what? Why are you...Why is there a...Never mind.*Breaks open the trap with his spear* Chomp: ^.^*Jumps on top of Duck* Duck: Agh! Get offa me! I only got...*checks watch*Ah crap.
*Several hours later* *Duck wakes up, sitting in the sand of the Dry Dry desert with the chomp looking over him* Duck:...Ow...Hey, buddy...I'll call you...*Cough*...Chompa. Chompa: ^.^ Duck: Ow...what happened? *Pause* Duck: Oh, right, the bomb.*Suddenly hit on the head with something*OW!*Looks at what hit him and sees that it's the pulse stone, only cracked and turned jet black*Hm...it's still pulsing... *Duck uses the blackened pulse stone to find the pedestal to place it. Eventually, he finds it and places it. There's a lot of rumbling, and out of the sand rises a black version of the dry dry ruins* Duck:...Whoa...*Walks inside* : WELCOME, CHOSEN ONE! Duck: What the- *several thousand Dark Craws appear and bow* Duck:...Ooh...duck:*looking around in the new ruins**finds a parrot like doopliss', only black*cool! a parrot! parrot: look! a damn parrot! WARK! duck: what? did you just swear? parrot: what? did I just swear, jerk-ass? WARK! duck: hm...I'll call you...crunch! crunch: hern...I'll call you...crotch! WARK! duck: okay, you can stop now... crunch: okay, I can stop now, loser! WARK! duck: SHUT THE HELL UP! crunch: shut the hell hell up! WARK! duck:... army name: fowl darkness general: duck captain: chompa messenger: crunch base: dark dark ruins troops: 5,000 dark craws total: 5,000 alliances: none. wars: none. coins: 1,000 civilians: 0 base defences: the desert projects: build a computer: 20 days. stuff: none. war machines: none. completed projects: none. duck's log 1cool, I have an army! although this parrot's gonna get old fast. maybe I'll just make him carry letters or something.
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Post by layze on Nov 28, 2007 15:48:53 GMT -5
duck:*reading from a book*And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted - nevermore! ...heh. poe. funny name. can't scare me that easily, poe!*looks up and sees over a thousand ravens staring at him* *pause* duck:...AAAAAHHHHHH!!!*FLEE!*
3-day update.
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck captain: chompa messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 5,000 dark craws 1,500 ravens
total: 6,500
alliances: none. wars: none.
coins: 1,000 civilians: 0
base defences: the desert
projects: build a computer: 17 days. build a dark hoverboard factory: 50 days build a bladed hoverboard: 15 days.
stuff: none.
war machines: none.
completed projects: none.
duck's log 2 good god, where'd all these birds come from?!...not that I'm scared, or anything! yeah, a bunch of birds can't scare me. I...just...had to go to the bathroom and didn't feel like holding it. yeah. ... uh...anyway, these craw guys need a way of getting around, so I'm building a hoverboard factory. I'm even building one for myself! haw!
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Post by layze on Nov 29, 2007 17:07:29 GMT -5
4-day update.
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck captain: chompa messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 6,500 dark craws 2,000 ravens(500 out scouting)
total: 8,500
alliances: none. wars: none.
coins: 1,400 civilians: 0
base defences: the desert
projects: build a computer: 13 days. build a dark hoverboard factory: 46 days build a bladed hoverboard: 11 days.
stuff: none.
war machines: none.
completed projects: none.
duck's log 3 even though this computer is OBVIOUSLY going to give me all the information I could need, I sent out a bunch of the ravens to scout around. they should be back in a few days.
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Post by layze on Nov 30, 2007 16:48:18 GMT -5
*the scouting ravens come flying back in* duck: report. crunch: report, asswhipe! WARK! duck:*picks him up by the neck and chucks him out of the room* raven: well, there's a group over at dry dry outpost, and we estimate them to be 10,000 strong. duck: sweet! we can take them! raven: however, they seem to be merely a branch of a much larger army, which we estimate to be about 6 times our size. duck: oh...uh...anything else? raven: well, princess peach appears to have an army. duck:... raven: the kind that doesn't suck. duck: ah. how- raven: six times our size. duck: god dammit. is there anyone who's NOT 6 times our size? raven: no. however, we also found an island which is inhabited by koopas. their leaders seem to be of an evil background, so perhaps it would prove useful to ally yourself with them. duck: wait, so you just assume they're evil? raven: yes. duck:...k.
4-day update.
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck captain: chompa messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 6,500 dark craws 4,000 ravens
total: 10,500
alliances: none. wars: none.
coins: 1,800 civilians: 0
base defences: the desert
projects: build a computer: 9 days. build a dark hoverboard factory: 42 days build a bladed hoverboard: 7 days.
stuff: none.
war machines: none.
completed projects: none.
duck's log 4 uh...yeah...k.
~~~ KOOPALINGS(or whatever you may be called, because I have no reason whatsoever for calling you that), it has come to my attention that you...uh...exist. my scouts report that you appear to be of an evil background, like ourselves. I am, therefore, proposing an alliance between the two of us. do you accept? yours truly, dack. ~~~
duck:*ties the letter to crunch's leg*okay, deliver this message, you stupid bird. crunch: deliver this message, you stupid bird. WARK!*flies off* duck:...did he just insult me with my own insult? dark craw: uh...sir? I think you spelled your name wrong on the letter... duck: what? no I didn't!
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Post by layze on Dec 1, 2007 14:20:35 GMT -5
4-day update.
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck captain: chompa messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 6,500 dark craws 4,000 ravens
total: 12,500
alliances: none. wars: none.
coins: 2,200 civilians: 0
base defences: the desert
projects: build a computer: 5 days. build a dark hoverboard factory: 38 days build a bladed hoverboard: 3 days.
stuff: none.
war machines: none.
completed projects: none.
duck's log 5 still no reply...stupid parrot probably got lost...
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Post by layze on Dec 2, 2007 15:00:27 GMT -5
4-day update.
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck captain: chompa messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 6,500 dark craws 4,000 ravens 2,000 vultures
total: 14,500
alliances: none. wars: none.
coins: 2,600 civilians: 1,000
base defences: the desert
projects: build a computer: 1 days. build a dark hoverboard factory: 34 days
stuff: none.
war machines: bladed hoverboard
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard.
duck's log 6 my hoverboard's done, but there's STILL no reply from the koopa dudes. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT PARROT DOING?!
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Post by layze on Dec 2, 2007 18:33:09 GMT -5
QUEST LOG 1! duck:*walking around inside the ruins*where's that parrot with my stupid reply?! hm...maybe the koopa killed him...sweet.*suddenly steps on a tile on the floor, which clicks down slightly* duck: what the- *there's a massive rumbling, and a large doorway opens* duck: whoa.*starts going down the stairs beyond the doorway*HELLO? *echo* *echo* duck: whoa.*reaches the bottom and enters into a large room that appears to be some sort of shrine, in the middle of which is a black star floating in an orb of what some kind of perfectly transparent liquid*neat...a star...*walks up to the orb and attempts to grab the thing out, but is unable to put his hand through the surface of the orb*hm...*looks down and sees a black shadow growing around his feet*ACK!*jumps out of the way* *the huge...THING lands with a crash that shakes the whole ruin. duck gets up and turns toward the creature, which is just a 20-foot-tall black silhouette. the head is round, with a chomp's mouth. below that is what appears to be the body of a koopa, with spikes coming from the shell, and below that, a vine that reaches down into the floor. it lets out a deafening roar* duck:...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?! <NOVEL FORMAT!> the thing roars again and shoots a massive pillar of flames at duck, who just dodges. with an angry cry, duck points his spear forward and charges, but is knocked across the room with a single punch from one of the creature's massive fists. he gets back up, using his spear for support, just in time to dodge another pillar of flames. after a minute of dodging, duck realizes something. "HAH! you can't move, can you?" unfortunately for him, it can. the creature bent down, then literally jumped up, uprooting itself and flying 20 feet towards duck, where it lands and its roots dig themselves back into the ground* "meep." the creature then began chasing duck all over the room, occasionally shooting a jet of flames. duck seems to be holding his own, but he was unfortunately unaware of the effect the creature's jumping was having on the room. after duck dodged yet another attempt to crush him, a large chunk of the ceiling caved in, and he tripped over a stone, landing just before another stone hit his leg. he let out a cry of pain and turned to see the creature jumping towards him again. praying that he wouldn't die, he stuck his spear into the air, so that the creature impaled itself over the shaft. with a horrible cry of pain, the creature's body began dissolving into nothing. </NOVEL FORMAT!> duck:...that was weird...*looks over at the star and sees that the orb has disappeared*walks over and grabs the star* GET!!!: YOU GOT THE ZTAR OF DESPAIR! duck: wtf?! ztar of despair:*suddenly comes to life and floats into the air*greetings, chosen one![/i][/font] duck: WAH! ztar of despair: you have destroyed the guardian that kept me sealed in this prison. for that, you have my thanks. perhaps you are indeed powerful enough to rejoin the seven. if you succeed, power beyond your comprehension shall be yours. the ztar of chaos shall be found on the home of the pirate king.[/b][/i][/font]*disappears* duck:...um...?
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Post by The Doomship Expert on Dec 2, 2007 21:29:48 GMT -5
Hey layze, Don't we get Civilians every Sunday? Or are you not doing them?
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Post by layze on Dec 2, 2007 21:37:24 GMT -5
of course we do. I already got them.
>_> <_< >_> <_< >_> <_< >_> <_< >_> <_< >_> <_< >_> <_< >_> <_<
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Post by layze on Dec 3, 2007 16:43:26 GMT -5
4-day update.
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck captain: chompa messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 7,500 dark craws 4,000 ravens 3,000 vultures
total: 16,500
alliances: none. wars: none.
coins: 3,000 civilians: 1,000
base defences: the desert
projects: build a dark hoverboard factory: 30 days
stuff: smash ball
war machines: bladed hoverboard
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard.
duck's log 7 man, what was up with that crazy star thing? well, whatever. the computer's done!
duck: woohoo, a computer! my knowledge will be unmatched by all!*turns on the computer*...booting up? what? it doesn't wear boots!...oh, now I'm at the desktop? huh? I thought computers went on desktops, not the other way around!...ugh. how do I get to wikipedia? random dark craw: open the internet.*points to one of the icons* duck: internet explorer? I don't want to explore the internet, I just want to use it! dark craw:*sigh*
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Post by layze on Dec 4, 2007 11:45:49 GMT -5
duck:*on the computer*alright, wikipedia, you've been proven to be the most reliable source of information known to man, so don't let me down...AH! I found one! the blooper bombers. hm...ah-ha! they hate water, and are located in death valley...HA! this is gonna be so easy.
3-day update.
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck captain: chompa messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 7,500 dark craws 5,000 ravens 3,500 vultures
total: 18,000
alliances: none. wars: none.
coins: 3,300 civilians: 1,000
base defences: the desert
projects: build a dark hoverboard factory: 27 days
stuff: smash ball
war machines: bladed hoverboard
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard.
duck's log 8 WHERE'S MY REPLY?!
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Post by layze on Dec 5, 2007 9:49:59 GMT -5
QUEST LOG 2! duck:*speeding across the ocean on his hoverboard*the home of the pirate king SHOULD be this keelhaul key place, so the star had better be there!*reaches keelhaul key and dismounts*okay, where are you?*starts cutting through the jungle, and after some walking, comes across a dark dank cave*this looks about right.*goes in and finds himself in a massive room like the one the first ztar was in* *5 shadowy figures appear* ??? 1:*shaped like a goron from zelda games*welcome, chosen one. ??? 2:*shaped like a human, but covered in shadowy flames*you have come to claim the ztar of chaos. duck: duh- ??? 1: however, to claim it, you must defeat...I, boro, the spirit of earth. ??? 2: I, mange, the spirit of fire. ??? 3:*also shaped like a human, but is transparent*I, neon, the spirit of wind. ??? 4:*shaped like a zoro from zelda games(that's what they're called, right? the things that hang out in the water and shoot fireballs at you?)*I, lamnia, the spirit of water. ??? 5:*shaped mysteriously like luigi*and I, L, the spirit of lightning! duck: i don't think lightning is an element... L: too bad! duck: alright, I have to defeat you? fine. I'll just try out my special move that takes out 5 guys at once! *all 5 spirits surround duck, then charge at him as he jumps into the air* KSSHK tai: agumon, you have to digivolve! agumon: I can't, I'm hungry! tai: you're gonna get killed because you're hungry?! that's the stupidest **** I've ever heard! makajawan: hey, what the hell happened?! RLDline: where'd your quest go?! layze: um...oops, I sat on the remote. sorry! KSSHK *duck is standing in a pool of blood. however, his spear doesn't have a drop of blood on it. neon has been impaled over lamnia(who has no head), mange has been hanged from the 50-foot ceiling by a 5-foot rope, boro is in several places around the room, and there is absolutely no sign of L other than a massive bloodstain halfway up one of the walls* duck: awesome.*goes and grabs the ztar* GET!!!: YOU GOT THE ZTAR OF CHAOS! ztar of chaos: greetings, chosen one! I thank you for freeing me from my prison! the ztar of destruction can be found in the eyes of your greatest foe.[/font] duck: hm...ztar of CHAOS? ooh! I gotta try this!*grabs teh ztar*CHAOS...CONTROL! *there's a bright flash of light. duck disappears* *duck reappears at his base* duck: cool.
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Post by layze on Dec 5, 2007 15:37:35 GMT -5
duck: hey, what exactly is up with these ruins? dark craw: well, this is an ancient place where the most powerful of bird kind can return from the dead to once again walk along the land of the living. all dark craw have died at least once. duck: that sounded ominous. are you going somewhere with that? dark craw: yes.*pulls a conveniently-placed rope, opening a conveniently-placed curtain, revealing a pitch-black evil-eyed raphael the raven* raphael: 'sup?
5-day update.
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck captain: chompa, raphael messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 7,500 dark craws 5,000 ravens 4,000 vultures 2,000 condors
total: 20,500
alliances: none. wars: none.
coins: 3,600 civilians: 1,000
base defences: the desert
projects: build a dark hoverboard factory: 22 days
stuff: smash ball
war machines: bladed hoverboard
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard.
duck's log 9 so, dead birds come back here...hm...I can think of a few birds that I'd like to have around...mwehehe.
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Post by layze on Dec 6, 2007 15:10:21 GMT -5
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck(has extendable spear) captain: chompa, raphael messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 8,500 dark craws 5,000 ravens 4,000 vultures 3,000 condors
total: 22,500
alliances: none. wars: none.
coins: 3,400 civilians: 1,000
base defences: the desert
projects: build a dark hoverboard factory: 18 days
stuff: smash ball jumbo fan
war machines: bladed hoverboard
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard.
duck's log 10 my greatest foe...oh, I think I know who that is! mwahaha!
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Post by layze on Dec 6, 2007 15:22:48 GMT -5
quest log 3! duck:*enters payzme's black market and storms up to the counter* payzme: oh, hey, duck. you gonna try to kill me again? duck: not if you'll comply, I'm not! payzme: oh, give me a break. sideshow bob is a better villain than you. duck: gr. give me that.*points at the ztar* payzme: 500k. duck:...WHAT?! that's insane! do you even know what it does?! payzme: nope. duck:...*attempts to stab payzme* payzme:*disappears into the floor, then reappears in the cockpit of a huge laser cannnon* duck:...eep.*starts running around the store, dodging the laser, until he sees a pile of mini-peaches on a shelf**grabs them all and starts winding them up, dodging the laser, then throws all of the fully-wound minis towards the cannon* *the peaches all open their parasols and continue floating towards the cannon* payzme: DAMN!*jumps out of the canon just before all of the peaches explode, destroying the whole thing**runs behind a shelf* duck: come out, come out, wherever you are, PAYZME!
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