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Post by layze on Dec 30, 2007 15:16:54 GMT -5
duck:*watching as a bunch of random people work on kindling the sacred torch*...*turns to einstork*so when is the stupid flame- *a massive, bright crimson flames shoots out of the torch, filling most of the room and causing everyone to jump back, some getting their feathers singed. strange forms appear in the flame, and suddenly thousands of strange red birds shoot out* duck: whoa! what in god's name are they?! einstork: I believe zey are phoenixes. very powervul, very rare. duck: how rare? einstork: zey don't exist. duck: cool.
12-day update!
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck(has extendable spear)(has backpack) captain: chompa, raphael(has earth badge), sgt. byrd, kazooie(has wind badge), buzzar, rawk hawk messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 18,475 dark craws 9,900 ravens 8,000 vultures 8,000 condors 6,000 crows 7,000 hummingbirds 7,000 pterodactyls 3,000 phoenixes
total: 68,375
alliances: the 64, melty molten mafia. wars: none.
coins: 7,670 civilians: 5,000
base defences: the desert
projects: develop grenade eggs: 34 days assemble the iron phoenix: 18 days build second hoverboard factory: 20 days build rawkboard: 30 days
stuff: smash ball jumbo fan
factories: hoverboard factory(builds 125 hoverboards a day)
war machines: bladed hoverboard 9,250 hoverboards
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard. build hoverboard factory develop fire eggs develop ice eggs ignite the sacred fire.
duck's log 29 okay, where to start. uh...so now we have phoenixes in our army, which is cool. also, einstork says we've done something like "broken the cosmic seal" on bros. attacks, whatever that means. oh, and one of the allies who I thought had left me really didn't, and also allied us with some kinda other guys who I've never even heard of. next on the list, we're making a second hoverboard factory, because the craws are joining us faster than we can make 'em. finally, we're starting work on a hoverboard for rawk hawk. I think the name is stupid, but he threatened to punch my head off if we didn't call it that...
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Post by layze on Jan 2, 2008 15:39:08 GMT -5
wow, 12-day update? 12-day update! army name: fowl darkness general: duck(has extendable spear)(has backpack) captain: chompa, raphael(has earth badge), sgt. byrd, kazooie(has wind badge), buzzar, rawk hawk messenger: crunch base: dark dark ruins troops: 20,475 dark craws 9,900 ravens 8,000 vultures 8,000 condors 8,000 crows 8,000 hummingbirds 7,000 pterodactyls 5,000 phoenixes total: 74,375 alliances: the 64, melty molten mafia. wars: none. coins: 3,470 civilians: 5,000 base defences: the desert projects: develop grenade eggs: 22 days assemble the iron phoenix: 6 days build second hoverboard factory: 8 days build rawkboard: 18 days stuff: smash ball jumbo fan triangle thingy 3 factories: hoverboard factory(builds 125 hoverboards a day) war machines: bladed hoverboard 10,750 hoverboards completed projects: build bladed hoverboard. build hoverboard factory develop fire eggs develop ice eggs ignite the sacred fire. duck's log 30blah blah blah stuff happened.
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Post by layze on Jan 2, 2008 16:11:51 GMT -5
quest log 7 kazooie:*flies down to grunty industries and lands on top*oh, god, this place smells even worse then before. not to mention it's about 100 degrees. why would they put a key made of ice here? eh, whatever.*flies down the side, pries open a window, and enters* security camera: DANGER! DANGER! INTRUDER DETECTED! CODE RED! CODE RED! *several electric security nodes come out of a hatch in the middle of the room and start chasing after kazooie* kazooie:*sigh**calmly walks over into a corner* *the nodes stop in their tracks and starts floating around aimlessly* kazooie: cheap witch. she could at least spring for some gun-toting henchmen. they'd be a lot more fun to kill. eh.*leaves the room into the factory's huge central area*well, I guess the air conditioning plant is the best place to check out.*goes through a door under a sign that reads "air conditioning plant", and enters into a huge room*I don't remember this...*looks up and sees a giant ice key on a giant key ring*bingo! ???: HALT! *a huge trap door opens in the floors and out pops weldar, the visually impaired welding t-* weldar: ah, that's where you're wrong! I'm not longer visually impaired, for I now have CONTACTS! kazooie: oh, yes. forget the gigantic laser cannon, god forbid the doors be covered with anything bars that DON'T open when the room is cleared, let's just give the giant welding torch god damned contacts. weldar: ah, but that's not all! I've also been filled with a highly flammable type of fuel for more powerful flame breath, AND my body was covered in oil so I can move around more easily! HAH! *pause* kazooie:*turns toward the screen*I don't think we need to go into detail about this, do we?
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Post by layze on Jan 3, 2008 17:49:33 GMT -5
4-day update.
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck(has extendable spear)(has backpack) captain: chompa, raphael(has earth badge), sgt. byrd, kazooie(has wind badge), buzzar, rawk hawk, raphaette messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 22,475 dark craws 9,900 ravens 8,000 vultures 8,000 condors 8,000 crows 8,000 hummingbirds 7,000 pterodactyls 5,000 phoenixes
total: 76,375
alliances: the 64, melty molten mafia. wars: none.
coins: 3,870 civilians: 5,000
base defences: the desert
projects: develop grenade eggs: 18 days assemble the iron phoenix: 2 days build second hoverboard factory: 4 days build rawkboard: 14 days
stuff: smash ball jumbo fan triangle thingy 3
factories: hoverboard factory(builds 125 hoverboards a day)
war machines: bladed hoverboard 11,250 hoverboards
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard. build hoverboard factory develop fire eggs develop ice eggs ignite the sacred fire.
duck's log 31 some new person just joined. raphael says it's his sister. hm. anyway, in only 48 hours, the iron phoenix will be fully operational! mwahaha!
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Post by layze on Jan 3, 2008 18:05:02 GMT -5
quest log 8 kazooie:*yanks the ice key off of the giant key ring, exits, and sees a worker rabbit nearby**flies over to him*hey, you work here. do you know where the safe for this key is? rabbit: I-I think she keeps it in her lair... kazooie: thanks. bunny: wait! before you go, can you clean me- kazooie: no.*flies off**exits the factory into the quagmire, which she crosses to enter cauldron keep**lands and walks through the apparently empty room*grunty! c'mout, c'mout wherever you are, winkybunion! ???: DON'T CALL ME THAT! *pause* ???: crap, I hate when I blow my cover like that...oh well! *a large metal cage falls from the ceiling over kazooie, trapping her. grunty comes out* grunty: eeyah hah hah! trapped like a rat! kazooie: actually, rats can't be trapped this easily. I'm trapped more like a...parrot. grunty:...whatever. that cage is unbreakable and weighs several tons. there's no escaping. kazooie: okay, so what do I have to do for you to let me out? grunty: this!*pushes a button on a remote control* *the room suddenly turns into a huge game show stage. all the great being suddenly appear in the audience* vidguysteve: what the-where are we? merloo: if I had done this, you'd all be calling me a godmodder. but when- vidguysteve: merloo, shut up. grunty: eeyah hah hah! welcome, one and all, to the second annual tower of tragedy quiz! this little birdie is trapped like a ra- kazooie: parrot. grunty: whatever! she's trapped, and only YOU...*points at the great beings*can set her free. I'll ask you some questions. if you get 5 right, I'll let her go. but if you get just 3 wrong... *a huge 10-ton weight falls right next to kazooie's cage* grunty: eeyah hah hah! you'll never win! I'll start you out easy.
QUESTION 1: who created the wars?
(NOTE: in case you haven't figured it out, you, the readers of this quest, are now in control of kazooie's fate! yay interaction! I'll use the first answer I get for every question)
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Post by layze on Jan 4, 2008 17:05:51 GMT -5
*several craws are working hard putting the final touches on the iron phoenix as duck stands around doing nothing supervises. eventually, they all finish up and step back* duck: now what? einstork: now zees!*turns toward the computer and types some stuff* *the iron phoenix twitches slightly. then, very slowly, it gets up onto its feet. its eyelids open, revealing bright red lights. it spreads its enormous wings and lets out a cry loud enough to shake the entire ruins* duck: AWESOME!
4-day update
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck(has extendable spear)(has backpack) captain: chompa, raphael(has earth badge), sgt. byrd, kazooie(has wind badge), buzzar, rawk hawk, raphaette messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 22,475 dark craws 9,900 ravens 9,000 vultures 9,000 condors 8,000 crows 8,000 hummingbirds 7,000 pterodactyls 5,000 phoenixes
total: 78,375
alliances: the 64, melty molten mafia. wars: none.
coins: 4,270 civilians: 5,000
base defences: the desert
projects: develop grenade eggs: 14 days build rawkboard: 10 days
stuff: smash ball jumbo fan triangle thingy 3
factories: hoverboard factory x2(build 250 hoverboards a day)
war machines: bladed hoverboard 12,000 hoverboards
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard. build hoverboard factory develop fire eggs develop ice eggs ignite the sacred fire. build second hoverboard factory build the iron phoenix
duck's log 32 THE IRON PHOENIX IS COMPLETE! WAHOO! oh, also, we finished building the second hoverboard factory. now we'll be able to get the rest of our army airborne faster.
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Post by layze on Jan 6, 2008 9:44:46 GMT -5
7-day update(wut).
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck(has extendable spear)(has backpack) captain: chompa, raphael(has earth badge), sgt. byrd, kazooie(has wind badge), buzzar, rawk hawk, raphaette messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 22,475 dark craws 9,900 ravens 9,000 vultures 9,000 condors 9,000 crows 9,000 hummingbirds 7,000 pterodactyls 5,000 phoenixes
total: 80,375
alliances: the 64, melty molten mafia. wars: none.
coins: 4,970 civilians: 6,000
base defences: the desert
projects: develop grenade eggs: 7 days build rawkboard: 3 days
stuff: smash ball jumbo fan triangle thingy 3
factories: hoverboard factory x2(build 250 hoverboards a day)
war machines: bladed hoverboard 13,750 hoverboards
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard. build hoverboard factory develop fire eggs develop ice eggs ignite the sacred fire. build second hoverboard factory build the iron phoenix
duck's log 33 yeah, crap is almost done, and we need to start looking for another captain.
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Post by layze on Jan 6, 2008 17:56:45 GMT -5
quest log 9 *kazooie follows grunty up, and they arrive at teh top of cauldron keep. grunty has somehow already fired up the hag 1* kazooie: how do you start up something that big that quick? grunty: doesn't matter! ah hahahaahah! kazooie: you know what? your laugh sucks. go back to the stolen one. grunty:...fine. however, it won't be needed until after you're dead, because I figured out how to fire everything at once! TAKE THIS! *the hag one's lasers all turn on, the drill starts spinning, both mortar cannons are deployed, and the room is filled with cyanide and mustard gas* kazooie: eep.*backs away from the drill until she's right up against teh wall*this is the end... *the drill stops, the lasers turn off, the cyanide and mustard gas is filtered out, and the cannons fall off for some reason* kazooie: huh? grunty:*from inside*huh? what do you mean we blew a fuse? argh!*pops out of the hatch*NOW...where'd she go?*turns around to be looking kazooie right in the eyes*ACK- kazooie:*pecks out her eye* grunty: AACK! MY EYE!*falls back and lands on the control panel, causing it to short-circuit* *the hag 1 explodes. the drill smashes into a part of teh glass dome, causing the whole thing to shatter* *grunty starts flying aorund on her broomstick and puts a forcefield around her* grunty: eeyah hah hah! you can't beat ol' grunty that easily! kazooie: great, now what...? *suddenly, four jinjo statues rise up around the arena* grunty: ack! not them again! kazooie: them again!*goes up to one statue and shoots four eggs into the hole at its base* *the stone starts crumbling off the orange jinjo as it makes a powering up noise. the jinjo floats into the air and circles around kazooie*JINJO!*shoots towards grunty* grunty: ACK! *the same process is repeated 3 times, and grunty's broom is destroyed* grunty:*lands at the very edge of the arena*argh! I'm not beaten yet! *a HUGE jinjo statue rises in the middle of the room* jinjonator: I AM THE JINJONATOR! RELEASE ME! kazooie: now you are!*releases the jinjonator* grunty: ah-ah-ah!*turns the green forcefield around her blue* *the jinjonator charges several times at grunty, but is unable to break through the forcefield. finally, it just disappears* grunty: eeyah hah hah! I concentrated every ounce of my magic into this jinjo-resistant shield! no jinjo can get through it! kazooie:...k.*shoots an egg at her* *teh egg goes straight trough the shield and hits her in the face* grunty: AGH!*loses ballance and falls*AAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh... kazooie: that was WAY too easy...
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Post by layze on Jan 7, 2008 17:16:08 GMT -5
4-day update
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck(has extendable spear)(has backpack) captain: chompa, raphael(has earth badge), sgt. byrd, kazooie(has wind badge), buzzar, rawk hawk, raphaette messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 22,475 dark craws 9,900 ravens 9,000 vultures 9,000 condors 9,000 crows 9,000 hummingbirds 7,000 pterodactyls 7,000 phoenixes
total: 82,375
alliances: the 64, melty molten mafia. wars: none.
coins: 5,370 civilians: 6,000
base defences: the desert
projects: develop grenade eggs: 3 days develop clockwork kazooie eggs: 80 days develop flash bombs(new hummingbird ammo): 30 days
stuff: smash ball jumbo fan triangle thingy 3
factories: hoverboard factory x2(build 250 hoverboards a day)
war machines: bladed hoverboard 14,750 hoverboards
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard. build hoverboard factory develop fire eggs develop ice eggs ignite the sacred fire. build second hoverboard factory build the iron phoenix
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Post by layze on Jan 8, 2008 17:37:11 GMT -5
FINAL QUEST LOG *kazooie walks up to the huge safe that appeared on teh roof somewhere between the last quest log and this one*here goes nothing...*inserts the ice key and turns it* *the key breaks* *pause* kazooie:...dammit. now I have to go find another one. *ONE EPIC QUEST THAT YOU'LL NEVER GET TO SEE LATER* kazooie:*has another ice key*finally.*inserts the key and turns* *the enormous safe swings open, revealing a glowbo that's almost as big as kazooie* kazooie: sweet. c'mon, you little bugger.*picks up the glowbo and prepares to fly away, but then sees a tiny wooden jinjo on the ground*what's that?*picks it up* jinjonator voice: summon me as you wish... kazooie:...k.*flies off* *fast-forward to wumba's wigwam* kazooie:*throws the glowbo into the pool* wumba: now bird take a swim! kazooie: alright!*jumps in* *INSERT SEVERAL FLASHY MAGICAL SPECIAL EFFECTS THAT WOULD TOTALLY SCREW ME OVER IF I HAD A QUEST BUDGET HERE* *kazooie jumps out of the pool. she's the same size, but her feathers have been replaced by green scales, and she has small horns on her head*...this is it? I was expecting some kind of 30-story killing machine! wumba: not on this salary. but try breathing fire. big heap cool! kazooie:*inhales and breathes out a small stream of flames*...cool.*flies away* QUEST COMPLETE!
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Post by layze on Jan 8, 2008 18:23:26 GMT -5
*kazooie comes in for a landing* duck:*looks over at her*...normally, girls who put on tons of makeup freak me out, but...you might want to try it, cuz your skins looking a little dry...and green. kazooie: they're scales. duck:... kazooie: because I'm a dragon now. duck:...HAH!*breaks out in hysterical laughter* kazooie:...*torches him and walks away* duck: ow. 4-day update army name: fowl darkness general: duck(has extendable spear)(has backpack) captain: chompa, raphael(has earth badge), sgt. byrd, kazooie(has wind badge), buzzar, rawk hawk, raphaette messenger: crunch base: dark dark ruins troops: 22,475 dark craws 9,900 ravens 9,000 vultures 9,000 condors 9,000 crows 9,000 hummingbirds 8,000 pterodactyls 8,000 phoenixes total: 84,375 alliances: the 64, melty molten mafia. wars: none. coins: 5,770 civilians: 6,000 base defences: the desert projects: develop clockwork kazooie eggs: 76 days develop flash bombs(new hummingbird ammo): 26 days research ocular shade implants: 30 days stuff: smash ball jumbo fan triangle thingy 3 factories: hoverboard factory x2(build 250 hoverboards a day) war machines: bladed hoverboard 15,750 hoverboards completed projects: build bladed hoverboard. build hoverboard factory develop fire eggs develop ice eggs ignite the sacred fire. build second hoverboard factory build the iron phoenix duck's log 35...why didn't I write a log yesterday? eh, whatever. kazooie came back, and she's apparently a dragon. like, fire-breathing. with the heat and the burning and the ooouuuch...*ahem*anyway, her grenade eggs are done(my troops have taken to shielding themselves with big chunks of rock as they pass her in the hallway), and we're working on some kind of implants that will make it so my troops aren't completely blinded by light-based attacks.
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Post by layze on Jan 9, 2008 16:07:38 GMT -5
4-day update
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck(has extendable spear)(has backpack) captain: chompa, raphael(has earth badge), sgt. byrd, kazooie(has wind badge), buzzar, rawk hawk, raphaette, pennington messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 22,475 dark craws 9,900 ravens 9,000 vultures 9,000 condors 9,000 crows 9,000 hummingbirds 9,000 pterodactyls 9,000 phoenixes
total: 86,375
alliances: the 64, melty molten mafia. wars: none.
coins: 6,170 civilians: 6,000
base defences: the desert
projects: develop clockwork kazooie eggs: 72 days develop flash bombs(new hummingbird ammo): 22 days research ocular shade implants: 26 days trick out santa's sleigh(adds jet engine and front-mounted machine guns): 30 days
stuff: smash ball jumbo fan triangle thingy 3
factories: hoverboard factory x2(build 250 hoverboards a day)
war machines: bladed hoverboard 16,750 hoverboards rawk board santa's sleigh
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard. build hoverboard factory develop fire eggs develop ice eggs ignite the sacred fire. build second hoverboard factory build the iron phoenix
duck's log 26 okay, so this penguin with a magnifying glass just showed up and immediately "deduced" that I could use his help with something. why he was in the desert I'll never know. also, raphael just told me we apparently got some kind sleigh. he didn't tell me before because he was tricking it out with hydraulics and...surround sound. yeah. I guess this would make a pretty cool ride, but first I'm gonna add a jet engine and some guns.
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Post by layze on Jan 10, 2008 16:59:46 GMT -5
4-day update
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck(has extendable spear)(has backpack) captain: chompa, raphael(has earth badge), sgt. byrd, kazooie(has wind badge), buzzar, rawk hawk, raphaette, pennington messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 24,475 dark craws 9,900 ravens 9,000 vultures 9,000 condors 9,000 crows 9,000 hummingbirds 9,000 pterodactyls 9,000 phoenixes
total: 88,375
alliances: the 64, melty molten mafia. wars: none.
coins: 4,070 civilians: 6,000
base defences: the desert
projects: develop clockwork kazooie eggs: 68 days develop flash bombs(new hummingbird ammo): 18 days research ocular shade implants: 22 days trick out santa's sleigh(adds jet engine and front-mounted machine guns): 26 days
stuff: smash ball jumbo fan triangle thingy 3 body ball
factories: hoverboard factory x2(build 250 hoverboards a day)
war machines: bladed hoverboard 17,750 hoverboards rawk board santa's sleigh IRON PHOENIX
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard. build hoverboard factory develop fire eggs develop ice eggs ignite the sacred fire. build second hoverboard factory build the iron phoenix
duck's log 37 okay, so, we bought some thing from a store just so the guys selling it couldn't keep it, and we then opened our own store to sell it! yay!
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Post by layze on Jan 11, 2008 16:48:54 GMT -5
4-day update
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck(has extendable spear)(has backpack) captain: chompa, raphael(has earth badge), sgt. byrd, kazooie(has wind badge), buzzar, rawk hawk, raphaette, pennington messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 24,475 dark craws 9,900 ravens 9,000 vultures 9,000 condors 9,000 crows 10,000 hummingbirds 9,000 pterodactyls 10,000 phoenixes
total: 90,375
alliances: the 64, melty molten mafia. wars: none.
coins: 11,470 civilians: 6,000
base defences: the desert
projects: develop clockwork kazooie eggs: 64 days develop flash bombs(new hummingbird ammo): 14 days research ocular shade implants: 18 days trick out santa's sleigh(adds jet engine and front-mounted machine guns): 22 days
stuff: smash ball jumbo fan triangle thingy 3 body ball
factories: hoverboard factory x2(build 250 hoverboards a day)
war machines: bladed hoverboard 18,750 hoverboards rawk board santa's sleigh IRON PHOENIX
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard. build hoverboard factory develop fire eggs develop ice eggs ignite the sacred fire. build second hoverboard factory build the iron phoenix
duck's log 38 the sacred fire stopped spitting out phoenixes. oh, well. anyway, we just heard that our ally is under attack, and the battle is being written by our other ally's god, so we're sending some help, including the iron phoenix; time to give this baby a test run!
SENDING TO ROGUEPORT: kazooie 10,000 hummingbirds 10,000 phoenixes the iron phoenix
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Post by layze on Jan 14, 2008 16:07:40 GMT -5
12-day update
army name: fowl darkness
general: duck(has extendable spear)(has backpack) captain: chompa, raphael(has earth badge), sgt. byrd, kazooie(has wind badge), buzzar, rawk hawk, raphaette, pennington messenger: crunch
base: dark dark ruins
troops: 25,475 dark craws 10,900 ravens 10,000 vultures 10,000 condors 10,000 crows 10,000 hummingbirds 10,000 pterodactyls 10,000 phoenixes
total: 96,375
alliances: the 64, melty molten mafia. wars: none.
coins: 12,670 civilians: 7,000
base defences: the desert
projects: develop clockwork kazooie eggs: 52 days develop flash bombs(new hummingbird ammo): 2 days research ocular shade implants: 6 days trick out santa's sleigh(adds jet engine and front-mounted machine guns): 10 days
stuff: smash ball jumbo fan triangle thingy 3 body ball
factories: hoverboard factory x2(build 250 hoverboards a day)
war machines: bladed hoverboard 21,750 hoverboards rawk board santa's sleigh IRON PHOENIX
completed projects: build bladed hoverboard. build hoverboard factory develop fire eggs develop ice eggs ignite the sacred fire. build second hoverboard factory build the iron phoenix
duck's log 39 so, stuff stuff stuff. nothing to report. except that some guys are attacking beanbean castle, which we know about because this battle would be no fun if it was just some guys attacking a base, and also because the wars really wouldn't be terribly cool if we had to learn about every little thing that happens. SO!
SENDING TO DEFEND BEANBEAN CASTLE: duck chompa (duck and chompa will both be riding the bladed hoverboard) raphael sgt. byrd buzzer rawk hawk(riding rawk board) raphaette 21,750 dark craws(all riding a hoverboard) 10,900 ravens 10,000 vultures 10,000 condors 10,000 crows 10,000 pterodactyls
(CRUNCH AND MY REMAINING DARK CRAWS WILL TAKE SHELTER IN MT. RUGGED IN CASE OF AN ATTACK WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IS GONE!)
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