Post by yoshisoul on Aug 20, 2008 20:27:57 GMT -5
(Please excuse our horrible puns.)
[Mr. Picklepans, co-founder of the shop, will now speak]
Hello, you have just entered Rawk Hawk's MERC-endise House. We've got plenty a' stuff here to make your visit worthwhile. Here at the RHMS (for short), you can place your name on a sign-up sheet on the desk to my left. There, you can request a job for Mr. Hawk to do for you. Simply write your name, army's name, the job, and how much you want to pay. Oh, and your number/address so we can contact you later. Rawk Hawk will make the calls, not me. I just run the store.
Also, as we expand, we'll have some stuff to sell. So be on the lookout! Oh, and, make sure you tell your friends this message. After what happened long ago, we can't risk another incident. So...
NEW UPDATE!
Hey there, Jolene speaking. Since my appointing to Mercenary Manager, I've decided to fire this pickle guy and run the shop myself. Now, I know Rawk Hawk is still training. But he's got his almighty champ's belt, and he IS a hero. Don't take the guy lightly, he's a professional fighter. So please, have a look around at our limited, yet fully availible stuff. Oh yes, armies, please mind the merchendise. It wasn't exactly made for a blood-thirsty empire, more for the hardcore fight fan.
MERC PACKAGES:-
- Normal - Typical Mercenary stuff, like fighting for you and stuff, along with his Cheep-Cheep Blimp.
- Premium - Same as above, but brings his Uber Guards with him. A little more expensive (He has to pay them all), but well worth it.
- Air Support - For a cheaper price, he can fly above the battlefield and call in occasional Air-Strikes. Good if you want that slight edge in battle.
- Custom - If you need specific features, use this option. Price varies depending on what you need done.
Merchendise:-
- Rawk Hawk Fanboy Hat - Comes free with every visit!
- Official Rawk Hawk Wrist-Watch - Now with extra batteries! And, it can fire a small laser, J-Bond style! (2 coins per troop, 100 per officer)
- Rawk-Opoly! - The classic board game with way too many editions! It doesn't do... much... as far as the battle goes. But you can throw the board at people if it makes you feel any better. (10 coins)
- Rawk Hawk Halloween Mask - Show all your friends what you're made of with this cheap plastic mask! Also, RHMD is not responsible for any damage you may be inflicted upon by your friends because, let's face it, you still dress up for halloween. (1 coin)
- Jolene's Bra - Here we have... HEY! Who put this up for sale?!
- Rawk's Feathers - Oooh, look at this! Exquisite feathers from Rawk's precious feathery coat. Or from that really tall bird thing who lives down a few blocks on 4th and Seseme, but you can't tell the difference! (1 coin)
- Rawk Hawk Poster - Hey kids! Why not buy our official Rawk Hawk posters! They're great for hiding keys and other objects behind because no one would think to hire an inappropriate video game wind spirit to blow down the perfectly non-obvious poster as her little crush holds on to her for dear life! Or pleasure, I'm not really sure which. (1 coin)
- Rawk Hawk Foam Finger - Wanna really show Rawk Hawk that you came to cheer? Well buy one of these limited edition foam fingers! They come in 4 varieties, each with a different pointing finger! Whoops, scratch that folks, authorities at my doorstep. We're gonna have to get rid of that one finger (Yes, you know what I'm talking about). But, we've replaced with a Foam THUMB! YEAH! COME GET YOUR'S TODAY! (2 coins)
- Rawk Hawk Flavored Pudding - Nasty stuff. Really, it's terrible. You might throw up. No, wait, you WILL throw up. Well, Rawk Hawk likes it, but that's because he likes everything with his name on it. But if you really want it, we've got a special "alphabet soup" variety that spells out Rawk Hawk is #1 in the pudding. Well, the letters don't move around and all. It's pudding. But hey, it looks cool. Hell, it's more potent to be a weapon than anything else here. (3 coins per barrel)
(As you can see, it's mostly a joke shop, but the MERC part is 100% legitamite.)
[Mr. Picklepans, co-founder of the shop, will now speak]
Hello, you have just entered Rawk Hawk's MERC-endise House. We've got plenty a' stuff here to make your visit worthwhile. Here at the RHMS (for short), you can place your name on a sign-up sheet on the desk to my left. There, you can request a job for Mr. Hawk to do for you. Simply write your name, army's name, the job, and how much you want to pay. Oh, and your number/address so we can contact you later. Rawk Hawk will make the calls, not me. I just run the store.
Also, as we expand, we'll have some stuff to sell. So be on the lookout! Oh, and, make sure you tell your friends this message. After what happened long ago, we can't risk another incident. So...
NO CHAIN CHOMPS ALLOWED!
NEW UPDATE!
Hey there, Jolene speaking. Since my appointing to Mercenary Manager, I've decided to fire this pickle guy and run the shop myself. Now, I know Rawk Hawk is still training. But he's got his almighty champ's belt, and he IS a hero. Don't take the guy lightly, he's a professional fighter. So please, have a look around at our limited, yet fully availible stuff. Oh yes, armies, please mind the merchendise. It wasn't exactly made for a blood-thirsty empire, more for the hardcore fight fan.
MERC PACKAGES:-
- Normal - Typical Mercenary stuff, like fighting for you and stuff, along with his Cheep-Cheep Blimp.
- Premium - Same as above, but brings his Uber Guards with him. A little more expensive (He has to pay them all), but well worth it.
- Air Support - For a cheaper price, he can fly above the battlefield and call in occasional Air-Strikes. Good if you want that slight edge in battle.
- Custom - If you need specific features, use this option. Price varies depending on what you need done.
Merchendise:-
- Rawk Hawk Fanboy Hat - Comes free with every visit!
- Official Rawk Hawk Wrist-Watch - Now with extra batteries! And, it can fire a small laser, J-Bond style! (2 coins per troop, 100 per officer)
- Rawk-Opoly! - The classic board game with way too many editions! It doesn't do... much... as far as the battle goes. But you can throw the board at people if it makes you feel any better. (10 coins)
- Rawk Hawk Halloween Mask - Show all your friends what you're made of with this cheap plastic mask! Also, RHMD is not responsible for any damage you may be inflicted upon by your friends because, let's face it, you still dress up for halloween. (1 coin)
- Rawk's Feathers - Oooh, look at this! Exquisite feathers from Rawk's precious feathery coat. Or from that really tall bird thing who lives down a few blocks on 4th and Seseme, but you can't tell the difference! (1 coin)
- Rawk Hawk Poster - Hey kids! Why not buy our official Rawk Hawk posters! They're great for hiding keys and other objects behind because no one would think to hire an inappropriate video game wind spirit to blow down the perfectly non-obvious poster as her little crush holds on to her for dear life! Or pleasure, I'm not really sure which. (1 coin)
- Rawk Hawk Foam Finger - Wanna really show Rawk Hawk that you came to cheer? Well buy one of these limited edition foam fingers! They come in 4 varieties, each with a different pointing finger! Whoops, scratch that folks, authorities at my doorstep. We're gonna have to get rid of that one finger (Yes, you know what I'm talking about). But, we've replaced with a Foam THUMB! YEAH! COME GET YOUR'S TODAY! (2 coins)
- Rawk Hawk Flavored Pudding - Nasty stuff. Really, it's terrible. You might throw up. No, wait, you WILL throw up. Well, Rawk Hawk likes it, but that's because he likes everything with his name on it. But if you really want it, we've got a special "alphabet soup" variety that spells out Rawk Hawk is #1 in the pudding. Well, the letters don't move around and all. It's pudding. But hey, it looks cool. Hell, it's more potent to be a weapon than anything else here. (3 coins per barrel)
(As you can see, it's mostly a joke shop, but the MERC part is 100% legitamite.)