Post by vidguysteve on Jun 27, 2008 20:26:25 GMT -5
Battle of Castle Bleckian: Day 1
Mr. L led his men through the now disabled minefield, feeling confident. Already he had disabled a possibly disastrous base defense with little effort. This called for a little reward . . . Mr. L stopped for a minute and began to drink a Shroom Shake as his men ran around him.
“Mm-MM! That is good stuff! Whuh?” Mr. L opened looked up from his drink to see a Boo Jet shimmer out of its cloaking device and turn back towards the Castle.
“Oh no you don’t!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Breaker breaker! Come in! Target has disabled the DNA Mines! I repeat, target has disabled the DNA Mines! What the Hell is thaAAAAAWUAGOD!”
Count Bleckian threw the walkie-talkie to the ground as he the pilot’s final words were interrupted by an explosion.
youtube.com/watch?v=Fcvk2ONjer0
“Send out the other Boo Jets! Get the Mech Nauts working on the mines! I want them operational! Get our Crystal units in front of the Castle!”
“SQUIRPS! What of the others?” Squirps squealed.
“Bring them to the main chamber, commanded Count Bleckian. Sharptooth has a plan that will surely defeat this foe!”
Squirps hesitated for a moment, turned and began barking orders to the troops to follow Sharptooth’s plan.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sharptooth was getting his men in position, hiding around the Castle, waiting to ambush Mr. L when, IF, he broke through.
Fat Goomy waddled up to Sharptooth. “Hey boss . . . ya want me to do it now?”
“Hmm . . . no. Not yet, but soon.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mr. L and his men were having a time against the Boo Jets. Fotons fired their cannons and projectiles at the sleek ships, and were able to take down a few. However, they dared not fire at the reflective units at the Castle walls, after bearing witness to the first few Fotons who tried.
Mr. L charged himself up for another Super Jump Punch, just falling short of the Boo Jet. After landing on the ground and taking a moment to think over a Shroom Shake, he was struck by inspiration. Shroom Shake can in hand, Mr. L leaped into the air again, just as a Boo Jet was about to fly over him. He threw the can at the jet’s cockpit with all his might, and descended back to the ground.
The pilot was puzzled yet entertained by his efforts, and made no attempts to avoid it. That is, until it was too late. The can exploded, revealing a hidden Starburst Mr. L had concealed in it, puncturing the windshield and killing the pilot. The jet fell to the ground near the Castle walls, killing a few Fotons and Crystal units.
Posing and throwing away yet another Shroom Shake, Mr. L continued to further the attack against the Castle. He stopped in his tracks as he saw a Foton a few feet away from him inexplicably explode. Ordering his men to stay still. Time seemed to stand still, until the silence was broken by the sound of several more Fotons exploding.
“GET CLOSE TO THE WALLS! THE MINES ARE BACK ONLINE!”
The Fotons all scrambled towards the wall, fighting back against the Crystal Koopas, but unable to do much damage against their tough crystalline exteriors.
Mr. L punched out a few Crystal Koopas trying to swarm him, and began muttering under his breath, “Come on . . . Come on . . . DONE!” Mr. L finished charging his Thunderhand and forced his palm under the ground. The bolts didn’t travel as far as the first time, but he hit his mark, killing a few Mech Nauts and disabling nearby DNA mines.
“All right! Now for the troops . . .”
Battle of Castle Bleckian: Day 2: According to Plan
youtube.com/watch?v=43-bkLOCK3M
“Hm hm hm!” Mr. L chuckled as he began loosening up and stretching his arms and legs. “This shouldn’t take too long . . .” He stretched his neck, chugged down a Shroom Shake, and dashed towards a group of Crystal Koopas attacking his Fotons.
youtube.com/watch?v=43-bkLOCK3M
Mr. L body-checked one Koopa into another, shattering them both, before spinning in the air and kicking the third in the face and sending it flying against the gate, leaving a large dent where he collided.
“Th-thank you sir!”
Mr. L pointed towards the gate where the Crystal Koopa impacted and the Fotons instantly understood. Floating over towards the gate, they began blasting the barrier.
Mr. L dashed off and began to rescue more of his troops, trapping the unfortunate troops within exploding boxes, frying their brains, blasting them apart, and crushing them.
He had about 9,000 of his troops left, and the gate was close to coming down.
’Things are looking pretty good for the old Green Thunder . . .’ Luigi thought to himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Sharptooth was running down the hallways, making sure his men were all in position when Mr. L came in.
“Ohh, he’s going to get a BIG surprise. Heh heh heh.” Sharptooth snickered and ran towards the gate where Mr. L was going to break through. He wasn’t going to attack the enemy alone; that would be foolish. He had known that Count Bleckian had a few Chompiranhabobills follow him invisibly. He had heard them breathing ever so softly.
Sharptooth stood in front of the gate with his gun ready, as the pounding grew louder and louder and the gate began to creak and groan as it gave way, finally breaking open to reveal Mr. L and his crew.
Sharptooth slowly and mockingly applauded the masked mercenary. “Well, well, Mr. L. It seems that you’re as powerful as you advertise. ‘The Green Thunder Strikes Like Lightning’ ,” Sharptooth sneered, dripping with sarcasm. “Oh, that’s VERY clever. But- there’s one thing I’ve been thinking about . . . Why are you here? Well, actually, that was a lie. The truth is, I don’t care why you’re screwing around over here, but I’ll deal with you the way I deal with any other punk.”
”Oh yeah? What’s that, Shrimpy?”
Sharptooth grinned. “By seeing how many mutated monsters it takes to kill him! Attack!”
Startled and confused, the Koopiranhachomps unveiled their invisibility, only to be instantly ripped apart by lightning, Foton cannons, and bullets. When the smoke cleared, Sharptooth stepped up to one of the dead monsters and kicked its motionless body.
”Ugly bastards. That’ll teach ya to spy on Sharptooth! No one EVER gets dirt on me,YOU HEAR ME YOU SONS OF B*TCHES?!” After a pause, Sharptooth turned to Mr. L, and shook his hand. “Mr. L, right on schedule. Shall we continue?”
“Sure thing. You’re the boss,” Mr. L gargled as he took a swig of another Shroom Shake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
youtube.com/watch?v=fFwuNJVxOe8
Count Bleckian and Squirps waited in a room off of the main chamber, where their entire army lied in wait. However, both began to grow impatient
“SQUIRPO! Squirps is scared! We haven’t heard anything from Sharptooth in a while. What do you think happened to him, squirps?
”Hmm, mused Count Bleckian. Count Bleckian is not sure. However, I believe that we should wait a moment before we-“
“WAIT! Stop!”
The officers stopped to turn to Fat Goomy, who had just ran through the doors. “I have news from Sharpt- oh, man. It’s true. I AM fat. Maybe I should join a gym or somethi-“
”WHAT IS IT YOU HEARD, barked Count Bleckian!”
“Whah? Oh, oh yeah! He said . . . uh . . . what was it . . . Oh yeah! He said that Mr. L is heading towards this way, just like we planned. He’ll come this way, not suspecting anything, and BAM! That’s when we’ll swarm ‘em!”
“Good, good. All is going to plan.”
“Yeah, yeah. Man, I’m hungry. . .” Fat Goomy took out a plate of spaghetti and began to dig in, gorging himself on it. Count Bleckian took a step back, not wanting to get his white cape stained, and Squirps just looked irritated.
“How can you eat at a time like this! Squirps, squirpo!”
Fat Goomy paused and looked over at the alien. “I always eat. Except well, you know, when it’s coming out the other end!” Fat Goomy joked and laughed obnoxiously.
“Don’t you ever drink, squirpo?”
”Drink? Oh yeah! I got this stuff here, ‘Ale O’ Old Goomy’! It’ll make you faster if you drink it, and it tastes great! Want some?”
“Squirps isn’t sure-BLARGHTPTH!”
Fat Goomy shoved the bottle in Squirps’ mouth, as he watched gleefully as the creature swallowed the entire contents.
“Whelp, I think I should mosey along. Maybe do something useful! Hey, Bleckian! You want me to go grab that ‘Chao Heart’ thing for ya?”
”No, leave it right where it is in the teleporter room.”
”Gotcha!”
Fat Goomy ran down the hallway with a snicker, pausing every few steps to catch his breath. ‘All according to plan . . .’
Battle of Castle Bleckian: Day 3: True Colors
youtube.com/watch?v=Jrb0H4rRulk
All the troops in the main chamber stood anxiously, waiting to ambush Mr. L. There was something in the air of the colorless castle that just didn’t feel right. Call it a sixth-sense, call it a gut feeling, call it women’s intuition, something bad was going to happen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Count Bleckian and Squirps continued to wait in their secluded room, waiting for any signs of attack. Squirps, however, had been feeling sick for while and had begun to turn a light yellowish color.
”Ohh . . . squirps squirpo . . . “
“Quit your whining, Squirps. We could be under siege at any moment, and you’re standing here holding your stomach like a baby.”
Nodding, Squirps stifled himself, still feeling worse and worse with each passing moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fat Goomy finally made it to the Teleporter Room, doubling over on the floor, gasping for air and ravioli. A few Chompiranhabobills helped him up, and Fat Tony began to walk towards the Chaos Heart.
“RAHWOVAOUUUUUUUUGLAH (Stay where you are.)”
”Easy, fella, I’m just getting the Chaos Heart for Bleckian Boy.”
”RAWWLGH! SOCKS! WAFFLES! AWOOOOHAHBLAOURHG! (The Chaos Heart was not to leave the Teleporter Room. Master Bleckian made that very clear. Blaourhg.)”
”I received direct orders from Bleckian HIMSELF! Go ask him if you don’t believe me.”
Growling, one of the three mutants began to walk down the hallway to check for verification.
”Excuse me.”
The monster turned around to see EKKS, the computerized kitchen knife, holding an AK-47 (somehow). The utensil opened fire and the bullets ripped the Chompiranhabobill apart. The two others began to attack Fat Goomy from behind, but were quickly halted by EKKS diving at their heads and carving their bodies into indistinguishable slices.
”Good work, partner! Let’s go get that do-dad.”
“It’s a powerful, ancient evil that nearly destroyed all universes and you call it a do-dad?”
“Hey, the same thing can be said about my ex-wife, and I called her a do-dad.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sharptooth and his men led Mr. L down the black hallways of Castle Bleckian. Of course, due to every corridor looking the same and Mr. L stopping to drink Shroom Shakes, it was taking a while.
“ARGH! Everything in this place is black and white! How am I supposed to find the right hallway?!”
Mr. L shrugged as he chugged down another Shroom Shake. “This place did always clash with the neighborhood. Black and white does NOT go well with white and green. Come on, it can’t be much farther.”
After several more minutes of searching, complaining, drinking, complaining about drinking, and even more searching, the Goombas finally found themselves outside of the main chamber’s door.
“Alright, men. On three. Ready? . . . THREE!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, with Squirps and Bleckian, Squirps’ condition had grown worse and worse. His entire body had turned a pale yellow color, his skin became clammy, and his tentacles were all, well, they were already limp.
“Sq . . .uir . . .ps . . .”
”Hmm, mused Count Bleckain. Squirps, I’m starting to believe that you ARE actually sick. The falling on the floor and screaming thing gave it away.”
“Sq . . .uir. . .ps . . .”
In a puff of smoke, Squirps vanished, leaving only . . . . A plate of spaghetti.
“Bleh heh hunh?! Squirps! What has- that WRETCHED GOOMBA!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9pepI9PfBQ&feature=related
The Goombas threw open the door and began to throw explosives into the room while the Fotons punched holes into the walls and opened fire.
Count Bleckian had fallen right into Sharptooth’s plan. By staying all in one room, rather than being effective against one enemy, they were being ripped apart by multiple. Unable to avoid the attacks, due to the cramped quarters, group after group of troops fell to the explosions.
Count Bleckian slammed the door open and looked upon the scene in shock. Things were much worse than he had imagined. It looked like escape was their only option.
”WE’VE BEEN BETRAYED! EVERYONE! DESTROY THE FLOOR! GET TO THE TELEPORTER ROOM!”
Unfortunately, the only real way to destroy the floor was to use their explosives, which just furthered to add to Count Bleckian’s casualties. Snarling, Count Bleckian began to fire dark magic at the Goombas in the doorway throwing grenades. They would have to fight their way out.
Meanwhile, Goombas were hurriedly running around the outside walls of the room, setting up POW Bombs. When the final deadly block was in position, the Goombas returned to Sharptooth’s side took cover. Pressing the trigger, the POW Bombs all exploded simultaneously, destroying the walls and bringing them crashing down on more of Bleckian’s troops and some Fotons and Bob-omber Goombas.
When the dust had cleared, Count Bleckian only had about half of his men left. However, his men also had more room to move and strike back now. Taking the element of surprise, Bleckian gave his men the order to attack. Black Dragons flew through the smoke and gobbled up Goombas left and right. Crazy Dayzees put Fotons to sleep and Chompiranhabobills crushed the sleeping soldiers. However, it still wasn’t enough. They didn’t have enough troops to hold back all of them.
Count Bleckian, knowing what to do, called out the special artillery.
”GO! Go, my Electric Fire Chompiraboimagipromocrystalspacedayzees!”
Sharptooth and Mr. L both gave each other puzzled looks.
”Electric Fire Choopoobooimaginaryprimetimecragplacemazes?”
”No, no. It’s Electric Fire Chimpeerlimboimageprocrastinateclifforddays.”
Count Bleckian had smoke coming out of his antennae and his face turned red.
“IT’S ELECTRIC FIRE CHOMPIRABOIMAGIPROMOCRYSTALSPACEDAYZEE! Now kick their asses!”
The new mutants uncloaked themselves and began ripping through the Green Thunder and Goomba Thug’s men. However, the two commanders remained calm. In fact, they were laughing.
“He-hey, Sharptooth. When he said ‘kick their asses,’ was he talking to us?”
“I think so. Better go do it.”
Gulping down another Shroom Shake, Mr. L jumped into the battlefield, hands crackling with electricity.
Battle of Castle Bleckian: Day 4: Finale
youtube.com/watch?v=Hs7BvC1sO3M
Mr. L ducked under a Electric Fire Chompiraboimagipromocrystalspacedayzee and
delivered a kick to its chest, sending it crashing into another one. The two monsters then split into two more.
”Hmm . . . That’ll work!” Mr. L snapped his fingers signifying his breakthrough. The monsters were surrounded by a box that quickly exploded, completely destroying them. “What was tha- Oh, oh right. That happens when I snap my fingers . . . I guess I’m not completely used to these powers yet.”
Mr. L jumped onto one of the creatures and pounded it into the ground like a stake. When more came at him at all sides, he slammed his hands down on the dead monster’s head, holding himself vertically in the air with his legs extended. When the others were close enough, Luigi spun quickly, kicking them in their faces and sending them flying.
Dismounting, Mr. L shot bolts of lightning from his hands at groups of Electric Fire Chompiraboimagipromocrystalspacedayzees to his sides. Not paying attention to the front though, Mr. L narrowly was able to dodge one of the mutants coming for his head. When it turned to come after him again, Mr. L finished it off by throwing a Starburst into its snapping mouth, causing its head to explode.
Landing with a huff, Mr. L took out a Shroom Shake and began to drink. This was getting excessive. This already was his tenth one. Count Bleckian, seeing his chance quickly fired a blast of dark magic at the Green Thunder, making him drop his drink and sending him back a few steps.
”Ah! That kinda hurt! I need to heal! Shroom Shake!” Mr. L took out another Shroom Shake, and he once again was blasted by Count Bleckian.
Count Bleckian bleh’ed with delight. How simple. Was this really their champion? Their secret weapon? Their ace-in-the-hole? How very disappointing. Time to finish him off, then.
“You, minion! Go destroy Mr. L.”
The Electric Fire Chompiraboimagipromocrystalspacedayzee moved towards Mr. L with dangerous intent. It opened its mouth for a massive blast of flame. The fire bellowed from the monster. The monster dropped to the ground as a charred corpse.
The Green Thunder had reacted at the last possible second, taking out his Poltergust 3000, sucking in the flames, and using its special ability to spray it all back at the beast, killing it.
The battle was wearing down, as Count Bleckian’s troops were nearly completely eradicated. ‘Hmm . . . it looks like I have no other option. Bleh.’
Count Bleckian snorted and spat on the ground as his former ally and his mercenary stood on the other side of the destroyed wreckage of his army.
”BAH! Spat Count Bleckian! You may have defeated me here, but this is far from over!”
A box surrounded Count Bleckian and he flipped out of sight, leaving Sharptooth and Mr. L alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Count Bleck’s Castle, Bleckian appeared in front of the teleporter connecting the two castles. Smashing the controls and disabling it, he boasted to no one in particular, “Bleh heh heh heh BLECKIAN! So they have one Castle. Hmph. Not for long! CHAOS HEART! DESTROY CASTLE BLECKIAN!”
Nothing. There was no reaction, no deep rumbling, no great Void appearing to destroy the Castle. Just nothing.
“Chaos Heart? Where is it? NO!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back at Castle Bleckian, Fat Goomy had finally found Sharptooth and stormed into the room wielding EKKS and screaming. “ALRIGHT! LET’S MOIDERIZE ‘EM! COME ON! Why’s everyone standing around? I . . . I missed the whole fight, didn’t I?”
Sharptooth sighed, “Yes, I’m afraid so. Did you get it?”
Fat Goomy stopped to remember what he was talking about. “What?”
”THE CHAOS HEART!”
”Oh yeah, that! Yeah I got it!”
Sharptooth gathered his still alive men around. “Alright boys, I think that about wraps things up. Do a head-count, grab what you can, and let’s move on outta here.”
Casualties:
Count Bleckian:
Squirps
2500 Crystal Koopas
1500 Promothean Koopas(Shape Shifter/ Melee)
5000 Chompirabobills(Melee/Ranged/Stealth/Arial)
2000 Crazy Dayzees
2000 Black Dragons
100 Electric Fire Chompiraboimagipromocrystalspacedayzee
1 Boo Jet
Sharptooth:
500 Goombas
500 Paragoombas
200 Gloombas
150 Spiked Gloombas
100 Spiked Paragoombas
1000 Spiked Paragloombas
500 Paragloombas
100 Hyper Goombas
500 Tommy Goombas
200 Goomba Genenader
200 Bob-Omber Goomba
GT:
2,000 Fotons
Loot:
Sharptooth:
18 Boo Jets
6 Boo Tanks
1 Squirpian Devastator
3 Hoverkrafts
BLECKIAN STARWARRIOR TRANSFORMER BOT
Castle Bleckian
GT:
Chaos Heart
“WAIT! We can’t leave yet! There’s one last piece of business I need to take care of.”
The others gave Goomy a strange look, as he ran across the destroyed battlefield towards the room that Bleckian resided in. Opening the door – though the surrounding walls had all been completely destroyed – Fat Goomy picked up a plate of spaghetti and began to slurp up the noodles.
”Goomy, you know that I usually don’t ask where you get your food from, because it winds up disgusting me ninety-five percent of the time, but where did you get that?”
”Mmm . . . Squirphetti . . .”
Mr. L led his men through the now disabled minefield, feeling confident. Already he had disabled a possibly disastrous base defense with little effort. This called for a little reward . . . Mr. L stopped for a minute and began to drink a Shroom Shake as his men ran around him.
“Mm-MM! That is good stuff! Whuh?” Mr. L opened looked up from his drink to see a Boo Jet shimmer out of its cloaking device and turn back towards the Castle.
“Oh no you don’t!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Breaker breaker! Come in! Target has disabled the DNA Mines! I repeat, target has disabled the DNA Mines! What the Hell is thaAAAAAWUAGOD!”
Count Bleckian threw the walkie-talkie to the ground as he the pilot’s final words were interrupted by an explosion.
youtube.com/watch?v=Fcvk2ONjer0
“Send out the other Boo Jets! Get the Mech Nauts working on the mines! I want them operational! Get our Crystal units in front of the Castle!”
“SQUIRPS! What of the others?” Squirps squealed.
“Bring them to the main chamber, commanded Count Bleckian. Sharptooth has a plan that will surely defeat this foe!”
Squirps hesitated for a moment, turned and began barking orders to the troops to follow Sharptooth’s plan.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sharptooth was getting his men in position, hiding around the Castle, waiting to ambush Mr. L when, IF, he broke through.
Fat Goomy waddled up to Sharptooth. “Hey boss . . . ya want me to do it now?”
“Hmm . . . no. Not yet, but soon.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mr. L and his men were having a time against the Boo Jets. Fotons fired their cannons and projectiles at the sleek ships, and were able to take down a few. However, they dared not fire at the reflective units at the Castle walls, after bearing witness to the first few Fotons who tried.
Mr. L charged himself up for another Super Jump Punch, just falling short of the Boo Jet. After landing on the ground and taking a moment to think over a Shroom Shake, he was struck by inspiration. Shroom Shake can in hand, Mr. L leaped into the air again, just as a Boo Jet was about to fly over him. He threw the can at the jet’s cockpit with all his might, and descended back to the ground.
The pilot was puzzled yet entertained by his efforts, and made no attempts to avoid it. That is, until it was too late. The can exploded, revealing a hidden Starburst Mr. L had concealed in it, puncturing the windshield and killing the pilot. The jet fell to the ground near the Castle walls, killing a few Fotons and Crystal units.
Posing and throwing away yet another Shroom Shake, Mr. L continued to further the attack against the Castle. He stopped in his tracks as he saw a Foton a few feet away from him inexplicably explode. Ordering his men to stay still. Time seemed to stand still, until the silence was broken by the sound of several more Fotons exploding.
“GET CLOSE TO THE WALLS! THE MINES ARE BACK ONLINE!”
The Fotons all scrambled towards the wall, fighting back against the Crystal Koopas, but unable to do much damage against their tough crystalline exteriors.
Mr. L punched out a few Crystal Koopas trying to swarm him, and began muttering under his breath, “Come on . . . Come on . . . DONE!” Mr. L finished charging his Thunderhand and forced his palm under the ground. The bolts didn’t travel as far as the first time, but he hit his mark, killing a few Mech Nauts and disabling nearby DNA mines.
“All right! Now for the troops . . .”
Battle of Castle Bleckian: Day 2: According to Plan
youtube.com/watch?v=43-bkLOCK3M
“Hm hm hm!” Mr. L chuckled as he began loosening up and stretching his arms and legs. “This shouldn’t take too long . . .” He stretched his neck, chugged down a Shroom Shake, and dashed towards a group of Crystal Koopas attacking his Fotons.
youtube.com/watch?v=43-bkLOCK3M
Mr. L body-checked one Koopa into another, shattering them both, before spinning in the air and kicking the third in the face and sending it flying against the gate, leaving a large dent where he collided.
“Th-thank you sir!”
Mr. L pointed towards the gate where the Crystal Koopa impacted and the Fotons instantly understood. Floating over towards the gate, they began blasting the barrier.
Mr. L dashed off and began to rescue more of his troops, trapping the unfortunate troops within exploding boxes, frying their brains, blasting them apart, and crushing them.
He had about 9,000 of his troops left, and the gate was close to coming down.
’Things are looking pretty good for the old Green Thunder . . .’ Luigi thought to himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Sharptooth was running down the hallways, making sure his men were all in position when Mr. L came in.
“Ohh, he’s going to get a BIG surprise. Heh heh heh.” Sharptooth snickered and ran towards the gate where Mr. L was going to break through. He wasn’t going to attack the enemy alone; that would be foolish. He had known that Count Bleckian had a few Chompiranhabobills follow him invisibly. He had heard them breathing ever so softly.
Sharptooth stood in front of the gate with his gun ready, as the pounding grew louder and louder and the gate began to creak and groan as it gave way, finally breaking open to reveal Mr. L and his crew.
Sharptooth slowly and mockingly applauded the masked mercenary. “Well, well, Mr. L. It seems that you’re as powerful as you advertise. ‘The Green Thunder Strikes Like Lightning’ ,” Sharptooth sneered, dripping with sarcasm. “Oh, that’s VERY clever. But- there’s one thing I’ve been thinking about . . . Why are you here? Well, actually, that was a lie. The truth is, I don’t care why you’re screwing around over here, but I’ll deal with you the way I deal with any other punk.”
”Oh yeah? What’s that, Shrimpy?”
Sharptooth grinned. “By seeing how many mutated monsters it takes to kill him! Attack!”
Startled and confused, the Koopiranhachomps unveiled their invisibility, only to be instantly ripped apart by lightning, Foton cannons, and bullets. When the smoke cleared, Sharptooth stepped up to one of the dead monsters and kicked its motionless body.
”Ugly bastards. That’ll teach ya to spy on Sharptooth! No one EVER gets dirt on me,YOU HEAR ME YOU SONS OF B*TCHES?!” After a pause, Sharptooth turned to Mr. L, and shook his hand. “Mr. L, right on schedule. Shall we continue?”
“Sure thing. You’re the boss,” Mr. L gargled as he took a swig of another Shroom Shake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
youtube.com/watch?v=fFwuNJVxOe8
Count Bleckian and Squirps waited in a room off of the main chamber, where their entire army lied in wait. However, both began to grow impatient
“SQUIRPO! Squirps is scared! We haven’t heard anything from Sharptooth in a while. What do you think happened to him, squirps?
”Hmm, mused Count Bleckian. Count Bleckian is not sure. However, I believe that we should wait a moment before we-“
“WAIT! Stop!”
The officers stopped to turn to Fat Goomy, who had just ran through the doors. “I have news from Sharpt- oh, man. It’s true. I AM fat. Maybe I should join a gym or somethi-“
”WHAT IS IT YOU HEARD, barked Count Bleckian!”
“Whah? Oh, oh yeah! He said . . . uh . . . what was it . . . Oh yeah! He said that Mr. L is heading towards this way, just like we planned. He’ll come this way, not suspecting anything, and BAM! That’s when we’ll swarm ‘em!”
“Good, good. All is going to plan.”
“Yeah, yeah. Man, I’m hungry. . .” Fat Goomy took out a plate of spaghetti and began to dig in, gorging himself on it. Count Bleckian took a step back, not wanting to get his white cape stained, and Squirps just looked irritated.
“How can you eat at a time like this! Squirps, squirpo!”
Fat Goomy paused and looked over at the alien. “I always eat. Except well, you know, when it’s coming out the other end!” Fat Goomy joked and laughed obnoxiously.
“Don’t you ever drink, squirpo?”
”Drink? Oh yeah! I got this stuff here, ‘Ale O’ Old Goomy’! It’ll make you faster if you drink it, and it tastes great! Want some?”
“Squirps isn’t sure-BLARGHTPTH!”
Fat Goomy shoved the bottle in Squirps’ mouth, as he watched gleefully as the creature swallowed the entire contents.
“Whelp, I think I should mosey along. Maybe do something useful! Hey, Bleckian! You want me to go grab that ‘Chao Heart’ thing for ya?”
”No, leave it right where it is in the teleporter room.”
”Gotcha!”
Fat Goomy ran down the hallway with a snicker, pausing every few steps to catch his breath. ‘All according to plan . . .’
Battle of Castle Bleckian: Day 3: True Colors
youtube.com/watch?v=Jrb0H4rRulk
All the troops in the main chamber stood anxiously, waiting to ambush Mr. L. There was something in the air of the colorless castle that just didn’t feel right. Call it a sixth-sense, call it a gut feeling, call it women’s intuition, something bad was going to happen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Count Bleckian and Squirps continued to wait in their secluded room, waiting for any signs of attack. Squirps, however, had been feeling sick for while and had begun to turn a light yellowish color.
”Ohh . . . squirps squirpo . . . “
“Quit your whining, Squirps. We could be under siege at any moment, and you’re standing here holding your stomach like a baby.”
Nodding, Squirps stifled himself, still feeling worse and worse with each passing moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fat Goomy finally made it to the Teleporter Room, doubling over on the floor, gasping for air and ravioli. A few Chompiranhabobills helped him up, and Fat Tony began to walk towards the Chaos Heart.
“RAHWOVAOUUUUUUUUGLAH (Stay where you are.)”
”Easy, fella, I’m just getting the Chaos Heart for Bleckian Boy.”
”RAWWLGH! SOCKS! WAFFLES! AWOOOOHAHBLAOURHG! (The Chaos Heart was not to leave the Teleporter Room. Master Bleckian made that very clear. Blaourhg.)”
”I received direct orders from Bleckian HIMSELF! Go ask him if you don’t believe me.”
Growling, one of the three mutants began to walk down the hallway to check for verification.
”Excuse me.”
The monster turned around to see EKKS, the computerized kitchen knife, holding an AK-47 (somehow). The utensil opened fire and the bullets ripped the Chompiranhabobill apart. The two others began to attack Fat Goomy from behind, but were quickly halted by EKKS diving at their heads and carving their bodies into indistinguishable slices.
”Good work, partner! Let’s go get that do-dad.”
“It’s a powerful, ancient evil that nearly destroyed all universes and you call it a do-dad?”
“Hey, the same thing can be said about my ex-wife, and I called her a do-dad.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sharptooth and his men led Mr. L down the black hallways of Castle Bleckian. Of course, due to every corridor looking the same and Mr. L stopping to drink Shroom Shakes, it was taking a while.
“ARGH! Everything in this place is black and white! How am I supposed to find the right hallway?!”
Mr. L shrugged as he chugged down another Shroom Shake. “This place did always clash with the neighborhood. Black and white does NOT go well with white and green. Come on, it can’t be much farther.”
After several more minutes of searching, complaining, drinking, complaining about drinking, and even more searching, the Goombas finally found themselves outside of the main chamber’s door.
“Alright, men. On three. Ready? . . . THREE!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, with Squirps and Bleckian, Squirps’ condition had grown worse and worse. His entire body had turned a pale yellow color, his skin became clammy, and his tentacles were all, well, they were already limp.
“Sq . . .uir . . .ps . . .”
”Hmm, mused Count Bleckain. Squirps, I’m starting to believe that you ARE actually sick. The falling on the floor and screaming thing gave it away.”
“Sq . . .uir. . .ps . . .”
In a puff of smoke, Squirps vanished, leaving only . . . . A plate of spaghetti.
“Bleh heh hunh?! Squirps! What has- that WRETCHED GOOMBA!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9pepI9PfBQ&feature=related
The Goombas threw open the door and began to throw explosives into the room while the Fotons punched holes into the walls and opened fire.
Count Bleckian had fallen right into Sharptooth’s plan. By staying all in one room, rather than being effective against one enemy, they were being ripped apart by multiple. Unable to avoid the attacks, due to the cramped quarters, group after group of troops fell to the explosions.
Count Bleckian slammed the door open and looked upon the scene in shock. Things were much worse than he had imagined. It looked like escape was their only option.
”WE’VE BEEN BETRAYED! EVERYONE! DESTROY THE FLOOR! GET TO THE TELEPORTER ROOM!”
Unfortunately, the only real way to destroy the floor was to use their explosives, which just furthered to add to Count Bleckian’s casualties. Snarling, Count Bleckian began to fire dark magic at the Goombas in the doorway throwing grenades. They would have to fight their way out.
Meanwhile, Goombas were hurriedly running around the outside walls of the room, setting up POW Bombs. When the final deadly block was in position, the Goombas returned to Sharptooth’s side took cover. Pressing the trigger, the POW Bombs all exploded simultaneously, destroying the walls and bringing them crashing down on more of Bleckian’s troops and some Fotons and Bob-omber Goombas.
When the dust had cleared, Count Bleckian only had about half of his men left. However, his men also had more room to move and strike back now. Taking the element of surprise, Bleckian gave his men the order to attack. Black Dragons flew through the smoke and gobbled up Goombas left and right. Crazy Dayzees put Fotons to sleep and Chompiranhabobills crushed the sleeping soldiers. However, it still wasn’t enough. They didn’t have enough troops to hold back all of them.
Count Bleckian, knowing what to do, called out the special artillery.
”GO! Go, my Electric Fire Chompiraboimagipromocrystalspacedayzees!”
Sharptooth and Mr. L both gave each other puzzled looks.
”Electric Fire Choopoobooimaginaryprimetimecragplacemazes?”
”No, no. It’s Electric Fire Chimpeerlimboimageprocrastinateclifforddays.”
Count Bleckian had smoke coming out of his antennae and his face turned red.
“IT’S ELECTRIC FIRE CHOMPIRABOIMAGIPROMOCRYSTALSPACEDAYZEE! Now kick their asses!”
The new mutants uncloaked themselves and began ripping through the Green Thunder and Goomba Thug’s men. However, the two commanders remained calm. In fact, they were laughing.
“He-hey, Sharptooth. When he said ‘kick their asses,’ was he talking to us?”
“I think so. Better go do it.”
Gulping down another Shroom Shake, Mr. L jumped into the battlefield, hands crackling with electricity.
Battle of Castle Bleckian: Day 4: Finale
youtube.com/watch?v=Hs7BvC1sO3M
Mr. L ducked under a Electric Fire Chompiraboimagipromocrystalspacedayzee and
delivered a kick to its chest, sending it crashing into another one. The two monsters then split into two more.
”Hmm . . . That’ll work!” Mr. L snapped his fingers signifying his breakthrough. The monsters were surrounded by a box that quickly exploded, completely destroying them. “What was tha- Oh, oh right. That happens when I snap my fingers . . . I guess I’m not completely used to these powers yet.”
Mr. L jumped onto one of the creatures and pounded it into the ground like a stake. When more came at him at all sides, he slammed his hands down on the dead monster’s head, holding himself vertically in the air with his legs extended. When the others were close enough, Luigi spun quickly, kicking them in their faces and sending them flying.
Dismounting, Mr. L shot bolts of lightning from his hands at groups of Electric Fire Chompiraboimagipromocrystalspacedayzees to his sides. Not paying attention to the front though, Mr. L narrowly was able to dodge one of the mutants coming for his head. When it turned to come after him again, Mr. L finished it off by throwing a Starburst into its snapping mouth, causing its head to explode.
Landing with a huff, Mr. L took out a Shroom Shake and began to drink. This was getting excessive. This already was his tenth one. Count Bleckian, seeing his chance quickly fired a blast of dark magic at the Green Thunder, making him drop his drink and sending him back a few steps.
”Ah! That kinda hurt! I need to heal! Shroom Shake!” Mr. L took out another Shroom Shake, and he once again was blasted by Count Bleckian.
Count Bleckian bleh’ed with delight. How simple. Was this really their champion? Their secret weapon? Their ace-in-the-hole? How very disappointing. Time to finish him off, then.
“You, minion! Go destroy Mr. L.”
The Electric Fire Chompiraboimagipromocrystalspacedayzee moved towards Mr. L with dangerous intent. It opened its mouth for a massive blast of flame. The fire bellowed from the monster. The monster dropped to the ground as a charred corpse.
The Green Thunder had reacted at the last possible second, taking out his Poltergust 3000, sucking in the flames, and using its special ability to spray it all back at the beast, killing it.
The battle was wearing down, as Count Bleckian’s troops were nearly completely eradicated. ‘Hmm . . . it looks like I have no other option. Bleh.’
Count Bleckian snorted and spat on the ground as his former ally and his mercenary stood on the other side of the destroyed wreckage of his army.
”BAH! Spat Count Bleckian! You may have defeated me here, but this is far from over!”
A box surrounded Count Bleckian and he flipped out of sight, leaving Sharptooth and Mr. L alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Count Bleck’s Castle, Bleckian appeared in front of the teleporter connecting the two castles. Smashing the controls and disabling it, he boasted to no one in particular, “Bleh heh heh heh BLECKIAN! So they have one Castle. Hmph. Not for long! CHAOS HEART! DESTROY CASTLE BLECKIAN!”
Nothing. There was no reaction, no deep rumbling, no great Void appearing to destroy the Castle. Just nothing.
“Chaos Heart? Where is it? NO!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back at Castle Bleckian, Fat Goomy had finally found Sharptooth and stormed into the room wielding EKKS and screaming. “ALRIGHT! LET’S MOIDERIZE ‘EM! COME ON! Why’s everyone standing around? I . . . I missed the whole fight, didn’t I?”
Sharptooth sighed, “Yes, I’m afraid so. Did you get it?”
Fat Goomy stopped to remember what he was talking about. “What?”
”THE CHAOS HEART!”
”Oh yeah, that! Yeah I got it!”
Sharptooth gathered his still alive men around. “Alright boys, I think that about wraps things up. Do a head-count, grab what you can, and let’s move on outta here.”
Casualties:
Count Bleckian:
Squirps
2500 Crystal Koopas
1500 Promothean Koopas(Shape Shifter/ Melee)
5000 Chompirabobills(Melee/Ranged/Stealth/Arial)
2000 Crazy Dayzees
2000 Black Dragons
100 Electric Fire Chompiraboimagipromocrystalspacedayzee
1 Boo Jet
Sharptooth:
500 Goombas
500 Paragoombas
200 Gloombas
150 Spiked Gloombas
100 Spiked Paragoombas
1000 Spiked Paragloombas
500 Paragloombas
100 Hyper Goombas
500 Tommy Goombas
200 Goomba Genenader
200 Bob-Omber Goomba
GT:
2,000 Fotons
Loot:
Sharptooth:
18 Boo Jets
6 Boo Tanks
1 Squirpian Devastator
3 Hoverkrafts
BLECKIAN STARWARRIOR TRANSFORMER BOT
Castle Bleckian
GT:
Chaos Heart
“WAIT! We can’t leave yet! There’s one last piece of business I need to take care of.”
The others gave Goomy a strange look, as he ran across the destroyed battlefield towards the room that Bleckian resided in. Opening the door – though the surrounding walls had all been completely destroyed – Fat Goomy picked up a plate of spaghetti and began to slurp up the noodles.
”Goomy, you know that I usually don’t ask where you get your food from, because it winds up disgusting me ninety-five percent of the time, but where did you get that?”
”Mmm . . . Squirphetti . . .”