Zim Swan's Song
Part 3: The Real Ending (Although the Will Smith Version was Cool... mirite?)[/b][/center][/size]
"EYEHEHEHEH....heh." Cackletta plotted her next move carefully, while her fellow Beans stood in silence. Finally Fawful pipped in.
"I'll just steal their castle, see?" Cackletta gave him a cold glare which equaled a "No, and shut up." She paced and paced before she came up with an idea. A most evil idea. A most evil and unsuspecting idea.
"EYEHEHEHEH!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Koops and Kooper were talking, along with the other generals, about what they had just seen. Outside, the falling turd bath had ceased, but its stench wafted through the windows, knocking troops out. The troops had already progressed into the poo-ridden fields of the Beanstar Haven, and were met by a large number of Palace Guards and also mutant hamsters courtesy of our favourite Irken Invader, Zim. Zim currently stood on the field, looking at the mess at his feet, shouting at Zim.
"I said troops you ignorant circuit-trash! NOT POOPS! I can hardly breathe! I order you to clean up this file horde of flesh-bag waste!" he shouted at everyone's favourite robot, GIR, who beeped and bopped cheerfully in response.
"ROGER, ROGET! Clean Zim's rather large and smelly deposits!" and promptly wheeled away, just eluding the grasp of Zim's outstretched arm. Zim set to work himself, leaving his incomptent robot companion to do his "duty". Zim stormed the Koopa Castle, firing his lasers and running around causing havoc within its grounds with his Spider Legs, tearing apart Koopas like cats with furniture. As soon as he found himself deep enough within the castle, he dropped a small marble onto the floor, and quickly went to run off, before he was stopped by a girl's call.
"What'd you just drop, and where do you think you are going?" Zim turned to face the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach, who looked unusually flustered.
"Ahh. If it isn't the Princess herself, Peach." Zim also spoke unusually; unusually calm and collected. "I'll just be killing you." he said, and readied his guns. Just as he was about to shoot (and about to get pwn'd by Peach) a small buzzing was heard. He opened a communicator device, and Cackletta's voice said something softly. He nodded his head, closed it, and focused back on Peach.
"Jeez, cell phones are ruining an already-ruined society, no?" Peach stared at him, no doubtedly preparing to unleash hell upon the invader. "Whoa.... I'll just be leaving now!"
And then he was gone.
He appeared outside of the castle, wearing a camo shirt and armed with a rather unproportionately sized machine gun. "And now we now.... and knowing is half the battle! G.I. JOE!" He quickly changed out of the shirt but kept the machine gun, and quickly ran towards his famed cruiser, the VOOT. He rolled past a turd-herding GIR, and grabbed him by his metal neck before throwing him aboard his ship. His remaining troops took the hint and quickly boarded as well. Waving a salute, and uttering a few cuss words, Zim piloted his ship and lifted off.
The invader just got out of the Beanstar Haven area when the VOOT stuttered to a stop and started plummeting down towards the land below. Zim, panicking, quickly looked for a solution. His onboard messager bleeped in:
"ENGINE FAILURE. ENGINES EXPLODED. YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE. I WILL NOW TELL YOU THE SECRET OF LIFE."
Zim quickly turned to his co-pilot (in spirit) GIR, who was still wearing a rather childish, large grin (and a mock-neck brace ("I'm going to sue!")). "Tell me, GIR, where exactly did you stuff all those pies?"
"PIES? First I stuff 'em in toilet (hope you enjoy it!) but there wasn't enough room. So, I stuffed 'em in useless thing called "engines 1-5"!" GIR was promptly thrown out the front window, screaming something about bees saving him on the way down. Zim turned his attention back to his ship, but there was nothing he could do to avert the crash, and the land below was approaching at a rapid speed. Just before impact, Zim used his "Auto-Ejector Seat" to save him from the crushing blow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cackletta stood miles above the Beanstar Haven, along with her other bandits.
"Like Extreme Makeover Home Edition would, let's flip this house!" She then conjured some sort of spell, but as she was about to, some sort of beam passed through her, and she felt a large power drop.
"WHAT?!? What happened?! We need to do this.... bandits. Let's combine power to finish the act." They all linked hands, and somehow Cackletta summoned the power out of them, and finished her spell. The castle suddenly lurched upside-down beneath them, and using her last bit of power, she transported them away from there.
Amazingly enough, they ended up in Fahr Outpost (* see end for alternate ending).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peach stood alone. She knew she had weakened Cackletta with her Peach Beam, and was going out with Koops, Kooper, and the Koopa Bros. to finish the witch off once and for all. She marched outside, completely disregarding the soiled mess at her feet. Koopas still fought valiantly against the Palace Guards and they rejoiced in the complete destruction of all troops. She called them to help her hunt down the bandits. She took a step when she saw a shake. Then a big shake. Then a rumble from her Gamecube Controller. "Uh-oh." she thought to herself, "My whole screen is shaking, and the rumble is going off like crazy. Something huge is about to happen, when I next press (a) to continue the scene."
"Troops! Get back to the castle immediately!" They all high-tailed it back, and most of them made it. "ACTIVATE THE SPEED DRIVE AND GET OUTTA HERE!" She screamed at them, raising her voice for once. They were just powering it up, when everything got flipped upside down. Quickly Peach and Kooper, along with the Koopa Bros. all plummeted, but Peach grabbed onto them and opened her parasol, barely managing to esacpe the descending castle. Peach, Koops, Kooper and three of the Koopa Bros. managed to escape. Yellow, however was not so lucky. The edge of the castle smashed into him, seperating him from the chain of hands.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Red cried after him. "Why evil war mod? And right before the Final Battle?! C'MON!"
"Final Battle?!" Peach replied kind of dumbfounded, and Red shook his head, "Yeah, haven't you sent in plans yet?"
"Oh right, that Final Battle. No, I didn't I was waiting on the outcome of this update." she said, before adding on, "I think the 4th Wall was been killed, murdered, destroyed, nuked, brought back to life, and then letting the Mona Pizza Song loose on it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zim landed face-first into the sand, and the ZOOT landed behind him, in a fiery explosion. Some troops managed to crawl out on fire, and quickly rushed into the water near them. Zim groaned when he saw GIR standing only 10 feet away, with large dents and scars but still cheery.
"How'd you survive?!" Zim roared, and GIR giggled gleefully.
"The sand-bees saved me!" he responded, and then oogled at the sky, "Ooh! Falling castle! Hee hee, MOAR LIEK XALLING CASTLE!!!" Zim, looked up to see, indeed, a falling castle coming from the sky.
His last thoughts in life were the meaning of life, as told by the onboard VOOT computer:
"42."
****************************************************
Alternate Ending:
BeanBean's Location:
Amazingly enough, the bandits ended up in SMKW64DS, much to the great anger of VGS.
"WHAT?!" he roared, "She can't be alive! Its says so in Log 2 of my quest -shameless self-advertising FTW-! Oh, man, tinny is gonna get it! Or, I'll just kill you now... VEGETA! What does the Scouter say about their power level?!"
"IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Vegeta screams in epic fashion as he crushes the Scouter in his fist.
"What?! 9000?! There's no way that can be right.... can it?!" VGS said with complete shock. The 5 Bandits (who now were completely powerful again) started approaching the quivering admin an-
All of the sudden the author dies of a sudden heart attack.
==============================================
FIN.