Post by layze on Jul 4, 2008 10:48:45 GMT -5
payzme: 'sup? well, since I'm not really doing anything lately, I decided to open up a random event store for all of you american nuts. I got all the explosives, sparklers, and fizzle-dee-doos you could ever want, supercharged to the point they're no longer legal anywhere but mexico! sparklers whose sparks will fill your enemies with holes! firecrackers strong enough to domolish a small building! NOW GET OUT THERE AND BLOW SOME ship high in transit UP! oh, by the way, none of these items will go to myself in the wars, and none of them can be reproduced in any way.
sparklers: these things fire off white-hot sparks in all directions except that of the holder. the sparks will put holes through nearby regular troops, setting them on fire in the process. 500 coins.
firecrackers: these things could be used to just blow up a bunch of your enemies, but you could also set them up in small buildings to bring them down! just be aware thet they have a REALLY long fuse, so they can be put out. 750 coins.
fireworks: you light them, they shoot up, and there's a colorful explosion of sparks. these don't really do anything, but layze thinks they're pretty, so I figured someone else might want them. whaddya gonna do. 1 coin.
spear fireworks: HERE we go. just like the previous item, except when it explodes, it rains fiery SPEARS into the enemies! how you like that? 1,000 coins
roman candles: light one of these up and a baker's dozen of high-powered grenades fire out of it! go blow some ship high in transit up! 1,250 coins.
flamethrowers: fourth of july is nothing without these! or maybe I just had a ****ty childhood. either way, you know you want one. 1,500 coins.
AUCTION ITEMS:
world's largest snake: that's right, straight outta south park. you know what snakes are, right? you light them and a big snake of ash comes out? well, this one is half a mile across, and 12 stories high! thephallussnake that comes out of this baby keeps coming for hours, destroying everything in its path! it's also very difficult to put out. however, one catch: it can only be lit by thirty-three simultaneous bursts from one of my own flamethrowers, from this very shop. get your money bags ready. the bidding starts at 2,000 coins.
gandalf's fireworks: a wizard did it. no, really. this thing was made by a wizard. when you light it, it shoots up into the sky and explodes...into a giant dragon made of the fiery sparks. this thing will fly down and cause mass chaos among your enemies for about 10 minutes, at which point it'll fizzle out. the bidding starts at 3,000 coins.
THE BIG ONE: I only ever built two of these. the first one sunk atlantis. I had to go through some convoluded **** just to legally be able to call this thing a firework. light it, and it sets off a 50 megaton nuclear blast, giving you approximately 7 second to retreat to a safe 500 mile radius. now, this baby houses extreme destructive power, so I'll have to run a full background check on you before you can buy it.
...
just kidding! the bidding starts at 20,000 coins. oh, and if the cops come, you didn't get it from me.
sparklers: these things fire off white-hot sparks in all directions except that of the holder. the sparks will put holes through nearby regular troops, setting them on fire in the process. 500 coins.
firecrackers: these things could be used to just blow up a bunch of your enemies, but you could also set them up in small buildings to bring them down! just be aware thet they have a REALLY long fuse, so they can be put out. 750 coins.
fireworks: you light them, they shoot up, and there's a colorful explosion of sparks. these don't really do anything, but layze thinks they're pretty, so I figured someone else might want them. whaddya gonna do. 1 coin.
spear fireworks: HERE we go. just like the previous item, except when it explodes, it rains fiery SPEARS into the enemies! how you like that? 1,000 coins
roman candles: light one of these up and a baker's dozen of high-powered grenades fire out of it! go blow some ship high in transit up! 1,250 coins.
flamethrowers: fourth of july is nothing without these! or maybe I just had a ****ty childhood. either way, you know you want one. 1,500 coins.
AUCTION ITEMS:
world's largest snake: that's right, straight outta south park. you know what snakes are, right? you light them and a big snake of ash comes out? well, this one is half a mile across, and 12 stories high! the
gandalf's fireworks: a wizard did it. no, really. this thing was made by a wizard. when you light it, it shoots up into the sky and explodes...into a giant dragon made of the fiery sparks. this thing will fly down and cause mass chaos among your enemies for about 10 minutes, at which point it'll fizzle out. the bidding starts at 3,000 coins.
THE BIG ONE: I only ever built two of these. the first one sunk atlantis. I had to go through some convoluded **** just to legally be able to call this thing a firework. light it, and it sets off a 50 megaton nuclear blast, giving you approximately 7 second to retreat to a safe 500 mile radius. now, this baby houses extreme destructive power, so I'll have to run a full background check on you before you can buy it.
...
just kidding! the bidding starts at 20,000 coins. oh, and if the cops come, you didn't get it from me.