The Flaming Fiends’ Far-Out Fracas: Part Four[/u]
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/113590Crump paced back in forth in the dim storage room. Morton was able to keep a fire ball burning long enough for them to find a few flashlights.
“I knew it…” the second-in-command mumbled to himself over and over, much to Morton’s confusion. “I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! The worst has finally come…”
“Whuh? What’s going on? What happened?” Morton asked, intrigued.
“The worst! Didn’t you hear me?” Crump snapped.
“I meant, what IS the worst?” Morton responded, his usually low patience thinning.
Crump picked up a flashlight and held it up to his face, illuminating parts of it and giving him a much more frightening appearance. “Moon Zombies,” he stated solemnly.
“Moon… Zombies?” Morton repeated, confused.
“Yeah, Moon Zombies. They’re Zombies that live on the Moon. All of the fighting must have woken them up, and now the whole base is crawling with them. We’re probably the only survivors…” Crump explained, looking despondent.
“Oh man…” Morton sighed, almost a whisper. “What do we do now?”
Crump began to sort through several boxes until he came across one filled with canned food. “We’re going to have to work together on this if we want to survive. Now, there are three ground rules when dealing with Moon Zombies. Rule one; if one of them bites you, you turn into one of them. Rule two; if one of them scratches you, you turn into one of them. And three… if you marry one of them… and it’s your cousin…” Crump cautiously looked around the room, as Morton crawled forwards, eager to listen.
“…ya’ll might be a redneck! Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh huh!” Crump broke out laughing, much to Morton’s confusion. Crump pulled himself up when he noticed Morton’s blank look. “Y-you know… Jeff Foxworthy? ‘You might be a redneck if…’? Comedy…?”
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www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/96995“Damn it all!” Grodus cursed aloud. “FAERIA’s circuits must have been fried by the magma…” the Supreme Leader deduced.
”Uh… Sir Grodus?” One of the Jugger-Nauts interrupted. “This isn’t… uh… magma…”
“What?” Grodus’ floating head whirled around sharply. “What is it then?”
The Jugger-Naut reached a finger towards the globs that leaked through the door, scooped up a dollop, and brought it to his mouth. “Tastes like… Cheese…”
If Grodus had any arms, he would have face-palmed. “Cheese… Two Armies have been heavily damaged… by
cheese,” Grodus spat the last word like a swear. “And the Loaded Shells are on their way… This is going to be GREAT. I swear, if I’m not shot beforehand, I’m going to die of humiliation…”
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iffgm3vTgU0“How much farther?” A Yellow Paratroopa whined as 12,000 of the Loaded Shell’s troops traveled through the Pipe Network from the Koopa Bros.’ Fortress to the X-Naut’s Moon Fortress just outside the building.
“Cease your whining,” a Koopatrol snorted. “We’ll be there soon, just wait.”
“Easy for you to say,” the Paratroopa huffed. “You don’t have any beautiful wings getting covered in sewer juice!”
“Please bring all complaints to their full ‘Shut-up’ position as we approach our destination,” a Kooper Trooper whirred as a light at the end of the pipeline became larger and brighter.
The troops and War Machines pulled themselves out of the pipe and onto the surface of the Moon. Looking around, they saw their Ally’s domed home less than a quarter of a mile away. They immediately began charging towards the base, when a tremendous laser beam blasted the hindmost group of troops to nothingness.
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*One minute earlier*
“Oh, GOD, I haven’t had that much fun since ‘Kamek’s Revenge’ back on Yoshi’s Island… What I miss?” Kamek asked as he slid back into a chair, exhausted from the fight.
”Well, we’ve lost contact with most of our troops and it looks like the X-Nuts forgot to pay their power bills,” Wendy replied, blowing on her freshly sharpened claws.
“Any idea how many we have left? Ah, it doesn’t matter… Radio the survivors and tell them to make their way back to the Airships,” Kamek instructed.
“I already did it a while ago, but it still may take them some time before they make it out. They said something about doors or walls slamming down around them or something like that,” Wendy responded nonchalantly.
“Great, now what do we do to pass the time?” Kamek asked, scanning the boring and barren surface of the Moon.
Wendy craned her head up, her eyes fixated on something in the distance. A devious grin stretched across her face and she strolled over to the Bowser Blaster Airship’s control board and pressed a large red button with the Bowser’s insignia on it. A second later, a large Bowser Beam fired from the Ship blasting a crowd of unknown troops on the ground to ashes.
“Jackpot!”
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Inside a dark corridor of the X-Naut Fortress, a small battalion of Koopas stood against a wall as banging and explosions slammed against the wall opposite them. After a minute, the wall had a new custom-made window and a Bullet Bill Tank as well as a few troops walked through the opening and met up with each other.
”Uh…” A Koopa stammered, “Is this… like, everyone?”
“No, no, we have another Bullet Bill Tank and some troops knocking down the other wall to meet up with some others,” another replied. The first Koopa nodded, and a loud blast punched a hole through the Bullet Bill Tank’s target where other Koopas piled out of.
Similar occurrences were taking shape all throughout the closed chambers with the surviving forces as X-Nauts and Koopas destroyed the walls separating groups from each other in an effort to regroup and increase their strength, as well as get an understanding of what has happened.
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www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/113884“FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!” A Koopatrol barked before he was blown to bits by an incoming Bullet Bill. The Loaded Shells were taking a leathering, with the Bowser Blasters, Bowser Bombers, Airships, and Bowser Blaster Airship reigning supreme over the troops outside the base. The Bowser Bomber swooped down and dropped its load on Kinetic Orb Tanks and troops scrambling around them, blowing them to kingdom come. Bowser Blasters teamed-up on an Aerobomber and it wasn’t long before it was scrap.
One of the Airships focused its fire on troops on the ground, Bullet Bills plowing through their defenses and leaving them as bloody messes on the cold surface of the Moon and keeping troops away from the entrance of the base. Meanwhile, the Bowser Blaster Airship and the remaining Airship were using their over-the-top firepower to keep War Machines in check, hitting them full-force before they could take aim or take off of the ground.
Occasionally, a Blue Shell Blaster would use its speed to zip around the Bullet Bill fire and unleash a barrage of missiles on the Airships, but no amount of speed could help them from the Bowser Beams that obliterated the flying pests.
Kooper Troopers ran forwards lobbing grenades at the airborne attackers, but the Airships were simply too high and the grenades exploded in the air long before it reached their mark.
The battle waged on, and the Loaded Shell’s troops could see that if they fought for much longer, they’d be done for. Some troops called for a tactical retreat as the soldiers dashed away towards the rear of the X-Naut Fortress.
“Should we go after them?” Wendy asked Kamek, interested in the battle for the first time.
The Magikoopa let out a devilish chuckle as he turned away from the scene. “No, our job here is done. Our men are on their way and if we leave to go fight a battle, they’ll be cannon fodder. It seems like they plan to assist the X-Nauts in giving chase to our troops at this point by entering from some secret back door, but our men are probably so close that they’ll never be able to catch up! We’ve done quite a bit of destruction, too, so Lord Bowser will be pleased when he returns.”
“So now what do we do?”
“Now we play the waiting game……… Ah screw it, the waiting game sucks. Let’s play Hungry Hungry Hippos!”
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www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/448720“C’mon, dudes!” A Magnus Drone pilot called as the Mechs pounded on a door with their powerful machines’ fists. The Drones and Dread-Naughts had been making their way towards the action when the walls came closing down on them, and they had instantly begun to destroy walls and make their way to help their fellow X-Nauts.
What they didn’t know was that on the other side of the door were the surviving members of the Flaming Fiends.
Bullet Bill Tanks fired at the wall while the Drones punched, and unfortunately for the Drones the Tanks fired the final blow to the door, causing it to burst open and knock the Mechs onto their backs. The troops wasted no time in charging through the pre-made tunnels, leaving the dark hallways of the X-Naut Fortress behind them.
After a few seconds, the Drones and Dread-Naughts pulled themselves back up. Deciding that assisting their fellow men was their top priority, the pilots maneuvered their robots in the opposite direction, deeper into the base.
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Kamek and Wendy continued to wait on the bridge of the Bowser Blaster Airship, when a walkie-talkie crackled to life and the voice of a Koopa came through the speaker. “Sir! The surviving troops have made it to the entrance of the base! Requesting clearance to board Airships!”
“Roger, soldier! We’re sending an Airship down for you right now!” Kamek cried, relieved to hear good news from their men.
An Airship dropped from its position and landed in front of the base’s entrance. Koopas hurriedly charged forwards from the entrance and leapt to the Airship’s deck.
“Alright! Are we all set to go?” Kamek asked, looking over his shoulder at Wendy.
“Er… Not quite…”
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www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/68023“Crump log… I’ve lost track of time in this place… It may have been hours, days, years… The cold nights haunted by Moon Zombie moans…,” the second-in-command sighed heavily. Morton looked over at the X-Naut, a little surprised by his appearance. Crump was wearing a lamp shade on his head, was draped in several tacky-colored fur coats, and had a thick brown beard flowing from the gap under his hat.
“Dude, how many times a day do you need to shave?” Morton asked, both disturbed and intrigued at the same time.
Ignoring the question, Crump slid behind a cardboard box. “I’ve been growing suspicious of subject ‘Oopa-Kay…’” Crump poked his head over the cardboard box to look at the scowling Koopaling sitting cross-legged on the opposite side of the room. “I believe that he’s out to kill me and usurp my position as leader of the survivors…” Crump shot a dirty look at Morton and slid behind his box barricade.
Crump waited a few moments before he turned his gaze to a small semi-circle of various miscellaneous objects with crude faces drawn onto them. “The others are telling me that I’ve lost my mind, gone crazy… Yeah, crazy like a FOX! I’ll show ‘em all once I take that shifty-eyed, cheating, lying, good-for-nothing Koopa out of the picture…”
“Hey!” the insulted prince shouted. “At least
I’m not the one talking into a rubber chicken!”
”Rubber chicken?” Crump echoed, looking down at the tan sack of rubber in his hand. “RUBBER CHICKEN?!” Crump dove to the floor on his back, gripping the chicken by the neck and shaking it furiously. “FOR THE LOVE OF THE STAR SPIRITS, GET IT OFF ME! HELP! HEEEEEELP!”
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“Did anyone else hear that?” An X-Naut asked a small group of his fellow soldiers.
The Magnus Drones had made it to the surviving X-Nauts and battered down the doors for them. Finally, nearly all of the X-Naut force had been reunited, and small search parties were sent out to check for any others.
”Sounded like the noise Lord Crump makes when he’s taking a bath,” another X-Naut observed.
“Hold on, Lord Crump! We’re coming!” The X-Nauts called before they began to pound on the cheese-jammed door.
www.vgmusic.com/music/console/nintendo/n64/dk64_klumsy_polka.midAfter a few minutes, the door came falling down with a loud slam, and Crump fled from the dark room, looking even more haggard than before and holding a struggling Morton tight under his arm.
“Sweet freedom! It’s so beautiful!
Breathe with me, Koopa!
BREATHE!” Crump shouted, inhaling deeply.
Morton squirmed his way out from under Crump’s rancid pits and blasted the X-Naut search party to bits before charging down the hallway towards the exit of the base and the waiting Airships.
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After an hour, all of the rooms and doors had been de-cheesed and the Officers began to walk through the Base and inspect the damage while informing Grodus of what happened.
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/44269“GRODUS!” A cry echoed down the hallway, causing the group to turn and face the speaker.
A lone Hammer Bro had stayed behind, and was now staring down Grodus and the other Captains. The Jugger-Nauts surrounded their commanders, each cracking their knuckles and sending intimidating looks to the unnerved soldier.
With a deep breath, the Hammer Bro held his weapons over his head, and after a moment, he charged forwards at the mob, reeling his arm back.
“FOR ALL THE KOOPAS BACK AT HOOKTAIL CASTLE AND PETALBURG! YOUR DAYS ARE THROUGH!” The Hammer Bro snapped his arm forward and the mallet arched through the air aimed directly at Sir Grodus’ defenseless head.
As soon as it came dangerously close, a Jugger-Naut simply reached out and plucked it from the air, as two other brutes closed in and snapped the bold turtle’s neck.
”What do you make of that?” Z-Naut asked to no one in particular.
“I’m not sure… but perhaps it is something to look into in the future…” Grodus mused. “Any way, I can see damn well what happened. Give me a status report.”
Casualties[/u]
Flaming Fiends:2500 Koopas
1500 Hammer Bros.
800 Magikoopas
400 Fire Bros. (There were four Airships, each had Fire Bros. on them, so an even spread would be 375. Add the few that fell overboard and the crashed Airship.)
1000 Lakitus
1000 Green Paratroopas
3 Bullet Bill Tanks*
1 Fireball Tank*
1 Bowser Blaster
1 Airship
1 Bowser Drill*
1 Omega Overalls
*These were nearby where the Cheese entered, so yeah*
X-Nauts1500 X-Nauts - Basic Unit
1200 Elite X-Nauts - Elite Unit
1250 Yux - Long Ranged Defensive Unit
500 X-Naut Scouts - Speed/Recon Unit
1500 X-Grenadiers - Light Artillery Unit *these guys were dealing with the War Machines, which were right with the Cheese*
500 Xnipers - Long-Ranged Sniper Unit
1200 X-Engineers - Support Unit
750 X-Naut PhDs - Healing/Support Unit
1000 X-Flames - Close-quarters Unit
500 Spy-Nauts - Stealth Unit
2 X-Devastators (Heavy Tank) (40 Day WM)
1 Hoverjet (Medium Plane) (30 Day WM)
1 Aerobomber (Heavy Plane) (30 Day WM)
1 X-Raider (Light Tank)
*Kamek, the Bowser Blasters, the Bowser Bombers, the Airships and the 200 Day Bowser Blaster Airship really tore up some crapola*
Base: 40% flooded with cheese (40 Day Project)
FAERIA System Error (30 Day Project before any Base Defenses/Whatever FAERIA's in-game uses are can be used)
Loaded Shells2 Kinetic Orb Tanks
1 Shell Spinners
2 Blue Shell Bombers *once they made it up there, they became the BBA’s prime target. Ouch.*
1 Aerobomber
1,000 Koopatrols
1,000 Amber Bones
1,500 Yellow Paratroopas
1,100 Kooper Troopers
Total:- 4,600
Epilogue[/u]
Crump paraded into the Throne Room, carrying Morton’s Omega Overalls over his shoulders. Walking down the carpet to his commander’s floating head, Crump struck a pose and presented his loot.
“Check it out, Sir Grodus! I was able to grab these off of one of the enemy commanders while he was sleeping to use as bait! Now if he wants it back, they’ll have to come to us!”
Grodus just stared at his underling, utterly confused by his actions. “Crump, if you were able to steal the Overalls, why didn’t you just kill the person wearing them while you were at it?”
Crump, befuddled, just stammered, “Bu-but…Because… B-bait…”
“Crump, I have to be honest,” Grodus started, dumbfounded, “I’m thinking about firing you.”
“…Bait…”
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Author’s Notes:
Woo! Great battle, everybody! Good plans on both sides, and it was nice to see some action since another battle is taking so long… >_>
And just in case I need to clear some things up, I’ll do it here.
Bulbmin: Since Crump neither got Morton’s name nor had he ever seen him before, and since Morton was sneaking around Security Cameras, the X-Nauts don’t know anything about who attacked them other than it was a group of Koopas and from what the Hammer Bro said before he died. And you don’t have to do anything with Grodus firing Crump; that was meant to be a joke.
Water Dumple: The Bowser Blaster Airship’s and Airships’ high ground gave them a perfect vantage point over your troops and War Machines, and since none of the troops were prepared to take out a target flying hundreds of feet up, they got creamed. The War Machines were their only hope of doing damage to the Airships, and so they were the primary targets.